


Seeking Shelters

by GuardianKarenTerrier



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Anxiety, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Homelessness, Runaway, Touch-Starved, and thats terrifying, cat traits adrien, chat noir the stray, emotionally starved adrien, generally starved adrien, good thing marinette has a soft spot for strays, marinette is both oblivious and not, plagg is a good guardian, probably ladybug traits marinette but ladybugs are strange creatures, touch starved adrien, yknow what
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-21 02:28:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8215819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuardianKarenTerrier/pseuds/GuardianKarenTerrier
Summary: Eventually, Gabriel Agreste pushes too far.Eventually, Adrien disappears. Slowly, Ladybug notices that first, Chat Noir never used to be around so much, and second, there's definitely something wrong with him.





	1. Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I've been insisting I'm not writing this since.. watching the show, basically. 
> 
> So hey, enjoy the first chapter of this fic I am adamantly not writing.

“Kid,” Plagg said softly, hovering around Adrien’s head for a moment before settling snugly into the boy’s shirt collar. “You know…if it’s something you have to do…not to get sappy on you, but I’m on your side. No one else’s.”

Adrien smiled and gently scratched behind Plagg’s ears. “Not even Ladybug’s?”

"Ladybug is on your side."

Adrien sighed and tilted his head back against the window. “She’s on Chat Noir’s side.”

“Ladybug is on _your side_ ,” Plagg repeated.

“Sure.” He sighed again, this time deeply enough to briefly unsettle Plagg. Adrien cupped a hand protectively over his shirt. “Look, it probably won’t come up. School is like the only thing I ever really fought him on.”

Plagg doesn’t say anything this time, but they both know what he’s thinking.

That’s why it probably _will_ come up.

* * *

 

It comes up. Of course it does.

Sooner than he’d thought, but not sooner than he’d prepared for.

His father says school’s gotten too dangerous. He says it’s been targeted by too many akuma attacks. It’s not safe to be around his classmates, either- most of them have _been_ akumatized.

(Somewhere deep down, Adrien wishes he was daring enough as himself to ask if he could still hang out with Marinette then, because the two of them haven’t been yet. Hell, he’s pretty sure he’s seen Marinette _protect_ some of their classmates from akumas, just by talking them through their emotions).

He doesn’t say that. He doesn’t say much of anything, though he tries- for this, he tries, because he can already feel the bars closing in and he doesn’t think he can survive that again.

He barely gets a word in, and those he does are roundly ignored, spoken over, stomped on, to the point where a very paranoid part of him is constantly scanning his surroundings for an out-of-place butterfly.

Two hours later he’s standing in his room, breathing hard, back to the securely locked door as he stares out the window.

“I don’t know how much Camembert I’ll be able to get my claws on, Plagg,” he says quietly.  He has some in the bag at his side, and he has some cash, but he’s not sure how well he’ll be able to _spend_ said cash.

His kwami settles on his shoulder, nudging him gently, unusually affectionate for the little cat. “It’ll be alright, kid. I wouldn’t leave you.”

Plagg being so openly sentimental is a bad sign.

Adrien’s grateful anyway.

“Thanks, Plagg,” he says quietly, and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t really want to be alone. He won’t be, not really, but it isn’t the same as having Plagg _with_ him and he doesn’t know how much time he’ll really be able to spend as Adrien. “You were my first friend, you know? You and Ladybug.” He can’t dismiss Nino, and even Alya and Marinette now, but he also can’t think of them just at the moment. It’s too painful.

Plagg headbutts him. “You’re stalling.”

“Yeah.” Another breath. “Claws out.”

He spends that first night on the roof of the school. It’s too close, and it’s a bad idea, but he doesn’t know when he’ll get to see it again (outside of an akuma attack, probably). Nobody will be looking for him yet and he’ll leave before dawn. He stays transformed, anyway. Chat’s never slept transformed before, but it’s apparently possible, and he spends the night huddled in the shadow of a higher part of the roof.

He’s not well-rested when the sky starts to lighten incrementally but he’s actually doing better than he would have had he stayed in his room. Chat checks the area thoroughly before taking off for a different part of the city.

He vaults off Marinette’s balcony at one point, and spares a moment to wish it wasn’t both too close and too well-used, because it looks very comfortable. (And it would leave him close to a _friend)._ But it’s not somewhere he can stay.

(He can hear Marinette singing Try Everything to herself inside and- why is she _awake_ at this hour, but- the song makes him smile for the first time all night).

Adrien left on a Friday night. He won’t be missed for a while, and akuma attacks are less frequent on the weekends- less stress to target, he and Ladybug both think. He had lessons and a photo shoot this weekend, but not until later, so he has plenty of time before anyone realizes he isn’t where he’s supposed to be.

He wonders how long it will take them to realize he isn’t coming back.

Chat Noir lands on a distant rooftop and ducks into the shelter formed where several roofs meet and form a sort of nook. There are supplies here- a sleeping bag, food that he doesn’t plan to touch until he has to, Camembert for Plagg, carefully-sealed cookies because Ladybug had once mentioned that’s what her kwami likes.

It’s sheltered. It’s safe. He has a dozen more of these hiding spots scattered around Paris. They were supposed to be for if they needed some place to go quickly after a battle (and if Ladybug trusted him enough for it) but- they’ll do for this, too. Chat Noir had never even had a chance to show Ladybug most of them, which he’s thankful for, suddenly. She’s going to know something is wrong- she knows _him_ \- but he doesn’t really want her to know _how_ wrong.

He’d had the foresight to leave books here- he’d left his phone behind, too easy to trace- so he curls up in the corner with the sleeping bag and starts to read now that the sun’s risen enough to see. He should detransform, really, but- he doesn’t want to be Adrien right now. Even the desire for Plagg’s company isn’t strong enough for him to want to face what he’s doing here.

Eventually he manages to get some real sleep, so he’s well-rested by the time he turns up for patrol that night.

(Is anyone looking for Adrien yet? -he can’t think about that on patrol).

“You’re quiet tonight,” Ladybug notes, less than an hour after they start.

There’s more than a little worry in her voice and it warms him to hear it. He smiles slightly as he looks up and admits, “I had a bad night.”

Her answering smile is soft and still concerned. “Well, let’s make this a good one, then.” She reaches out a hand to pull him across a gap between buildings, entirely unnecessarily, and adds, “Race you to the Seine.”

“Aw, Ladybug,” he whines, smiling wider despite himself. “You know cats don’t like water.”

She only laughs at him before swinging away and then, well, it’s a race.

She wins- they’re pretty evenly matched, but she usually wins, even if he’s faster on the ground- and he catches up to her on the riverbank, tucked out of sight from casual passersby.

“Here, kitty, kitty,” she beckons with a grin from her seat on the ground, and he goes willingly, only to be startled when she reaches up and pulls him down to sit next to her.

“What-” he starts, and whatever he was about to say is swallowed in an embarrassingly loud purr as she reaches up to scratch gently behind his ear. He about melts into her side and she wraps one arm around him, shifting so she doesn’t have to stop scratching.

This- is weird. This is weird, right? Not that he has a problem with it, he very adamantly does _not_ , but- this isn’t really a ‘casual friends’ sort of position.  Not that they’re casual friends, but they’re not _not_ , either.

He’s overthinking this. Is it that obvious to Ladybug just how far from okay he is right now?

Chat leans heavily into her side and purrs louder as she finds a spot that makes him go boneless with relaxation. His eyes slide shut, and he thinks she laughs, but he’s too comfortable (and comforted) to care.

He thinks, now that he can look back and compare, that he’s always been a little touch-starved but being Chat Noir seems to exaggerate it. Being held- being pet- feels wonderful and that’s something Ladybug had picked up on right away. Still, it’s always been in more of a ‘not shying away from physical contact’ way, not... this. She’s never outright cuddled with him before and he desperately hopes this isn’t a one-time-only thing.

If she has any ladybug side effects besides an increased sensitivity to the cold, she’s never said, and none of his ladybug research has helped him any there. She certainly doesn’t have an off-putting scent (far from it), and if she has any kind of reflexive bleeding capabilities he _really_ doesn’t want to know, and he’s tried bringing her flowers before since she’s been nothing but supportive of his more feline traits but flowers are too easily misconstrued.

He has no idea how much later it is when Ladybug’s hand falls away at last, though she doesn’t take her arm from around him.

“Better, kitten?” she asks quietly, still hugging him close.

Chat sighs and snuggles closer to her and she _lets_ him. Maybe he’s died and gone to heaven. “Y-yeah,” he mumbles, hoping if he keeps his eyes shut she won’t realize how furiously he’s blushing. “Thanks.”

“You, ah, looked like you needed it. Are you still up for patrol?”

He actually really doesn’t want to move, but he wants to go back to his lonely rooftop even less, so he sighs again, and repeats, “Yeah.”

Ladybug shifts away, but only to help him up, and when he looks up at her at last her gaze is searching. “Chat Noir, are you _sure_? We can always patrol tomorrow night...”

Despite wanting to stay by the banks of the Seine with Ladybug for the rest of forever, at a minimum, Chat summons up a grin and suggests, “We could do that anyway.”

Ladybug rolls her eyes, but to his surprise doesn’t actually say no. “Come on, kitten. Paris is waiting.”

There’s no akuma that night- honestly, there’s no akuma most Saturday nights- but they patrol long past when they’d usually have gone their separate ways.  In fact, the first light of dawn is in the sky by the time Ladybug says, “I had better get going.”

Chat flinches before he can help it, tries to turn it into a huddle that he can pass off as being cold.

Ladybug lands lightly beside him and, wonder of wonders, wraps an arm around his shoulders again in a sideways hug. “We can patrol again tonight, Chat Noir.  It’s been too quiet recently.”

No it hasn’t, there was an akuma attack Friday afternoon, but Chat isn’t going to point that out.

“Only if you’re up to it too, my Lady,” he says instead, tail flicking up to curl briefly around Ladybug’s waist before dropping down again. “I _have_ kept you up all night.”

“Chat, I could have gone home anytime,” she chides gently, letting go of him. “I chose to patrol, too. Let’s go before we’re missed, I’ll see you tonight.”

She swings off before he can react to that, which is for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I might be projecting some in this fic
> 
> I mean I never really ran away, but maaaaan was I prepared to if I had to


	2. Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly I've always assumed adrien has SOME level of social anxiety, and I'm basing that on my own experiences (I can be very outgoing and prone to jokes at work but ANYWHERE ELSE is a very different story)
> 
> i bought clothes in the making of this chapter that's like some kind of milestone in my life i never buy clothes

 

 

“Tikki, he didn’t make a single pun.”             

Her kwami sighs, perched on her headboard. The poor bug has been hearing variations on this tune for several hours now.

Marinette flops backwards onto her bed with an explosive sigh (it’s the middle of the day, but she’s been up all night). “He was so.. so… he was quiet! He’s never quiet!”

“Marinette, you ask him to be quiet all the time.”

“Yes but I don’t _mean it_!” Marinette wails, yanking a pillow over her face. It happens to be her cat pillow. “Oh no! Tikki, what if that’s it? What if he thinks I mean it? What if he thinks I-“

“I think if that were true he would have been quieter months ago,” Tikki cuts her off, fluttering closer.

Marinette makes a noise like a dying whale. “Tikki I don’t _want_ that! I don’t want Chat to feel like…  like he has to act differently for me to like him! He’s my best friend! Sorry, Alya,” she adds automatically.

Tikki laughs, but then assures her, “I really don’t think it’s anything to do with you, Marinette. He seemed to get better while you were together, right?”

She groans again and buries her entire head under the pillow. Her voice is muffled, but her kwami can still make it out.  “Tikki I _pet_ him. I pet Chat Noir. I spent a _very long time_ on a riverbank _petting Chat Noir._ ”   

“And he was happy,” Tikki reasoned, “It really did seem to make him feel better. He sure didn’t seem to want to move.”

Safely hidden under her cat pillow, Marinette flushes. No. No, Chat Noir had definitely been very happy where he was. That was, cuddling against Ladybug, purring in content. He’d been so blissed out she’s not even sure he _knows_ he was purring.

…he’d been so unhappy before that.  Subdued, nothing real behind his smiles, walking like a cat on tinfoil.  

She’d just wanted him to smile for real again.

And then there’d been that flinch when she said she had to go…

“I’ve never seen him like that,” Marinette says softly, into her pillow. “I’ve never seen him so…” She trails off. She has no idea how to describe Chat’s behavior.

She can’t say she hasn’t seen him sad, because she has- it’s there in a flash in his eyes, a quirk to his smile, an offhand comment, infrequent but omnipresent all the same and she knows something’s up with his home life but she isn’t going to pry. How can she, when she’s the one who’s said they can’t know each other’s identities? Chat Noir’s made it clear he’d tell her if she asked.

But she’s never seen him like this.

Marinette has a default state when she worries about her friends, and for the first time Tikki has to remind her _not_ to sign her name.

* * *

 

He doesn’t have enough books.

He’s read three, and he’s napped quite a lot (he’s always tired these days, really, but it’s hard to sleep), and he’s scrawled a good third of a way through a journal slash sketchbook before his pen runs out of ink and he’s bored.   He didn’t expect to be bored. It’s such a mundane problem that it never occurred to him.

He could talk to Plagg, but… Chat’s still not ready to detransform.   On some level he knows he’ll have to but _not yet_ , not yet.

He’s not ready to go out amongst people again, either. He really never does well with people, especially strangers in groups- shoots and school are one thing, they’re structured and usually have the same people; crowds are another. Especially now.  Chat really does not need to trigger any more stress right now.

He doesn’t eat. Their food has to last, and he’s used to feeling hungry, anyway.

He could switch hiding places- there are more books at the others- but he hadn’t planned to until he ran out of food at this one.  That might be a plan he has to change.

Not for the first time, he wishes he was less well-known as Adrien so that he could do something like go to the library for some more books, or go see a movie (not that he should be spending his emergency cash on a movie but it’s still a thought).  As it is he finally wraps the sleeping bag securely around himself and huddles into the corner for yet another nap. Or, well, what would be a nap if he could actually fall asleep. He spends a lot of a time in a dazed half-trance instead, staring blankly out at what he can see of the city skyline and trying very hard not to think of anything at all.

If Plagg were _with-him_ with-him, he’d undoubtedly nag Adrien into some kind of activity, but it’s just Chat Noir here right now and he doesn’t want to think about how it’s only been one day (it’s been more than twenty-four hours now, is anyone looking?), or about how fast patrol is going to go after this, or especially about how he _doesn’t_ have patrol to look forward to _tomorrow_ night.

But tonight he does.

He shows up two hours early.

To his surprise, Ladybug meets him after he’s only been patrolling alone for maybe a quarter of an hour (he’s really going to regret not having a watch).

“You’re out early,” she greets him from an adjacent rooftop, making him start. 

They’re a little too close to his hiding place for comfort, so rather than point out that so is she he grins and offers, “Tag tonight?”

Ladybug laughs.  “Sure, but you’re it.”

Tag would probably be more fun with more people, but he’d never played at all before Ladybug suggested it one slow night and then had to teach him how.  Since then she either teases him into it periodically or, more frequently, he suggests it himself.      

(He’s still not sure if he imagined the look of surprise that flashed over her face when he said he didn’t know how to play).

For a while he thinks they’re going to end up back at the river. Ladybug’s moving quicker than usual tonight, and he’s scrambling to keep up, before he nearly slams into her on the school rooftop.

She catches him before he can trip, and laughs at him. “Kitten, _you_ were supposed to catch _me._ ”

He makes a face. “I’m also not supposed to _lose_ a game of cat and mouse. Why’d you stop?”

“Ah, well…” She lets him go and steps back, bringing up a hand to rub her neck. “I kinda… have something for you? And I was going to wait until after patrol, but then I realized if there’s an akuma we’ll both have to leave after and I might not get a chance, and… Yeah. Hang on a second.”

She didn’t have to add that part. Chat Noir’s frozen where he is, eyes wide and tail flicked up.

“Y-you didn’t h-have to,” he starts to stammer out when Ladybug returns, but she cuts him off by shoving a bundle into his arms.

“I wanted to,” she said firmly.  “You’re my partner and even if you aren’t ready to talk about it, which is _fine_ , I know something’s wrong.”

Chat swallows, hard, not tearing his gaze away from his gift. It’s cloth, but he hasn’t unbundled it yet. “I’m not your responsibility.”

“You’re my _partner_ ,” Ladybug repeats, gently.   “ _And_ my best friend.”

“O-oh.”  He looks down at the cloth, clears his throat, whispers, “Thanks,” and still isn’t quite ready to open it.

And Ladybug waits patiently and doesn’t push him.  She can’t know the precise reasons he’s so stunned by a gift, but she knows when she can tease him and when she shouldn’t.

He has to swallow a couple more times before he can move slowly to open it, because it’s that or start crying and that would be embarrassing, but Chat finally unfolds his gift.

It’s a black hoodie. He turns it over and over, staring at it. It’s too big for him, but that has to be deliberate; there are bright green paw prints on the front pocket and cat ears on the hood that aren’t simply attached, but sewn on and hollow and with enough room for his own cat ears to fit inside.

The inside of the hoodie is ridiculously soft and it isn’t black. The fabric on the inside is red with black spots instead.

Chat Noir chokes and starts tearing up despite himself.  He hugs it close to him, shaking, and says breathlessly, “Thanks. I. Thanks, Ladybug.” He smiles, watery. “This is, uh, this is the nicest thing anyone’s ever given me.”

People don’t often give him things at all, or at least not meaningful things, if he’s being honest and he’s always been honest with his Lady.

She steps back forwards, hesitates a moment, then moves forward another step to wrap him in a hug, hoodie smashed between them.  

Chat hugs her back, burying his face in her shoulder, and spends several long moments breathing deeply in. He doesn’t want to let go, wants to stay in this moment.

Ladybug doesn’t let go either, keeps one arm around him and reaches up with the other to scratch lightly behind his ear again.  He is still shaking and she sinks to the ground with them still wrapped around each other.  He doesn’t start to purr this time. He leans harder instead and curls up small.

She doesn’t let go until he starts to shift restlessly in her hold, far later than she’d have expected.

She smiles at him as he shifts but doesn’t pull away entirely. “Hey. You don’t ever have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with, but also you can always tell me anything, all right? Promise.” She grins and flicks his ear. “Even if you’re calling me up to tell me, say, you’re _actually_ robbing the Louvre this time. Though in that case I am gonna need your reasons so I know if I’m helping you or bailing you out of jail.”

She startles a laugh out of him before he complains, “It’s not like he even _tried_ , though! I mean, he made a terrible pun, grabbed it, and _left_. In broad daylight! Just ‘hey, taking this, bye!’”

“Are you saying that’s _not_ how you would do it, then?” she teases.

Chat made a face. “I probably _would_ and that just makes it _worse._ ”

“So you’re actually Catwoman,” Ladybug laughs, leaning back a little and pulling him with until they’re both pressed comfortably together up against a high wall. “I think I’m the wrong superhero for you after all, kitten.”

“I’m leaving DC for Marvel, then,” Chat says immediately. He ducks his head into her shoulder and inhales, grateful when she rests one hand behind his ear and the other on the small of his back and doesn’t comment.

“We’re supposed to be patrolling,” he says into her shoulder, some time later.

“Yes,” she agrees and doesn’t move.

“Are, uh. Are we gonna?”

“Do you want to?” she asks cautiously. “I’m sure we’d hear an akuma, really.” 

Chat stirs a little. “We’ve helped other ways before, though. Stopped muggings. Other things.”

“Helped cats out of trees,” Ladybug teases, loosening her hold in case Chat’s getting uncomfortable. “We do still have police, you know.”

“They can’t be everywhere.”

“Neither can we,” she points out.

Chat sits up and she lets him go. “I do want to patrol. Can we go together? And not split up tonight?”

Sometimes they patrol separately, but not always, and Chat Noir has needed her much more than usual these past few nights. “Yeah, let’s go together.”

 They stop three muggings and guide a girl walking home alone away from an alley where a man is lurking in the shadows, Ladybug’s soft warnings falling on listening ears as Chat scans behind them to be sure they’re not followed.

“See,” Chat Noir says as they go back to check the alley. The man’s long gone; not that they could have proved ill-intentions, but they could have prevented the risk.  “That isn’t something the police would have done.”  

“Yeah.” Walking side-by-side, she knocks her shoulder into his. “Because no one was actually doing anything wrong.  Just, she should be more cautious.”

“And he shouldn’t be lurking suspiciously in alleys in the middle of the night.” Chat Noir has been carrying his hoodie all night, rather than actually putting it on.  Ladybug hasn’t mentioned it, even though the girl they’d just escorted had given them more than once strange glance, and two of the muggers had been distracted enough for the two of them to get the drop on them.

“Kitten, we are doing _exactly_ that right this moment.”  She grabs Chat’s collar, quick, as his ears flick towards the sound of scurrying rats. He’s chased them before and it’s hard to get his attention back when he does it.  

“Yeah but we’re superheroes,” he says, still distracted.  “We’re allowed.”

Something in that statement disturbs Ladybug, but she won’t figure out what for some time yet.

Right now, she sighs and says, “He’s gone, Chat Noir.  We should be going too. I don’t know about you, but I have to be up in…” She looks up at the sky. “…Around now.”

Chat’s ears and tail fall flat. “Oh. Right.” He smiles, and it’s back to looking wrong. “I’ll see you, then. Thanks again.”

Ladybug wants to ask again if he’s sure he doesn’t want to talk about it, but he’s gone before she can say anything else.  

 


	3. Shelter

He doesn’t land back at his current hideout so much as stumble into it. Chat Noir trips, manages a quick somersault, and smacks his elbow into the wall in the corner of his makeshift shelter.

And his ring beeps, five times, rapidly, which he didn’t even know it could _do_ , and he’s Adrien again and not sure he’s ever been so happy to see Plagg.

Even if his kwami looks furious.

“You,” Plagg started, and then stares at him, as Adrien clutches his Ladybug-given hoodie and ducks further into his safe corner. “I can’t begin to- kid, you are gonna _eat_ something, and then rest, and then we’re gonna work together here to figure out something better for you than what we’ve got right now. Because this, this is not okay.” Plagg gestures all around the rooftop corner they're sharing. As a temporary hiding place after a fight, it's ideal.

As a place to live, the most diplomatic way to to describe it would be 'lacking.'

Adrien shrugs and pulls the hoodie on. He was right, it’s too big. It settles around him, a comforting weight, and he hunches into it and revels in the soft fabric inside.  “I can’t go back.”

“And I would never make you,” Plagg retorts, exasperated. “But you deserve better than this!”

“This is fine,” Adrien argues, flipping the hood up (it is _exactly_ as comfortable as it looks). “And I have this now, so long as I keep the hood up and stay far enough from ho- from the house, I can buy stuff.”   He flaps a too-large sleeve at Plagg.

“Chat,” Plagg starts again, settling down on Adrien’s knee and leaning back to look up at him. “You coulda done that already. No more days hiding like that, okay? That’s… not good for you.”

“I ran out of books,” Adrien says, which doesn’t actually address Plagg’s point.

“ _Chat,_ ” Plagg says again, and dives into the supplies in the corner only to return with a roll and cheese. “Eat. Rest. We’ll come back to this after.”

“I’m not hungry.”

Plagg stares at him again until Adrien flushes and looks away.

“I’ve been hungrier, anyway,” Adrien mutters. “And our food has to last.”

“Kid, don’t worry about the food, we can get more food, the food is not a problem, trust me I am more than capable of keeping us both fed if I have to,” Plagg said, dropping the roll and cheese (and it's Plagg's cheese, but Adrien needs to _eat)_ into Adrien’s lap and flitting into his hood in agitation. “But you need to be in shape to help Ladybug, right? So you gotta eat.”

Adrien closes his eyes and wraps his arms around his knees, though he doesn’t let the cheese or bread roll fall. Appealing to his sense of responsibility to Ladybug usually works. “I’m serious, Plagg, I’m not hungry.”

“Well, you’ve still gotta eat,” his kwami insists, now perching on Adrien’s head inside the hood. One of the ears is more than enough to comfortably hide him. “C’mon, Chat, just a roll or something? It’s been way too long since you ate anything.”  It isn't like the kid stopped for dinner before he ran. He'd already been prepared so it isn't like he stopped for anything.

After a long silence, Adrien sighs and picks up the roll. He picks at it, and it takes him half an hour to eat it, and he doesn’t actually finish it much less even touch the cheese, but he _does_ eat, and while Plagg’s not _thrilled_ he’ll take what he can get, right now.

“Okay,” the kwami says, determinedly, from his perch in Adrien’s hair. Where he’s staying for now, because his human is bad at _listening_ to him. “You need to rest, but then we’re going… somewhere. I dunno. Not here. We’re gonna go _do_ something, we ain’t doing… yesterday’s not happening again.”

“Okay,” Adrien agrees, subdued, before settling himself more comfortably into his hoodie and against the wall. It’s not long before his breathing slows and deepens- running around as Chat Noir takes more out of him than he likes to admit.

Plagg has had other Chat Noirs that have worried him, some of them even more than Adrien does, but not like this.  The only damage he worries about Adrien causing is damage to _Adrien._ Plagg doesn’t remember the last time he’s been this concerned about his human for his human’s sake.

Ladybug would help, she would help in a heartbeat, but his Chat is too proud to ask her. Too proud- and, Plagg suspects, with too ingrained a habit of thinking that he doesn’t _deserve_ help.

Honestly, Plagg would have been willing to help him run even earlier than this; he just wishes they’d had a better place to run to.

When Adrien wakes again, too few hours later, Plagg slides down to his shoulder and says, “We’re gonna do a solo patrol.”

Adrien blinks at him. “Now? Plagg, it’s the middle of the day.”

The kwami nods. “Right, and you can’t be out as Adrien, but it’s not like anyone knows Chat Noir oughta be in school, right? So why not add daytime patrols?”

Also, Adrien likes being Chat Noir and he likes patrols, but Plagg doesn’t say that.

“I…” Adrien frowns, but he’s clearly thinking about it as he plays with the sleeves of his hoodie. “I guess I don’t see why not.”

Plagg cheers inwardly.

* * *

The hoodie stays when he transforms.

He doesn’t know why- maybe because it’s from Ladybug? It’s never happened with any of his other clothes before.

He’s happier to have it than he probably should be.

Chat stumbles a few times at first, looking to the side to call a pun or comment to Ladybug before remembering she’s not there, because he’s not used to patrolling during the day. They do fight most of their akumas during the day, but Ladybug’s with him then, too.  It’s not even like he never patrols without her, they do switch off sometimes, but they both prefer it when they can go together- backup is important.  

Right now Chat hasn’t interacted with anyone _but_ Ladybug and Plagg in over twenty-four hours and he already misses his partner.

It still doesn’t take too long for him to find his stride. After all, he and Ladybug patrol a lot; he could probably do this in his sleep, and they probably nearly _have_ , during particularly busy weeks.  Like the time Hawkmoth had, somehow, managed to send three akumas after them in a row.

Chat Noir’s pretty sure that was Chloe’s fault, somehow.

But it must have really taken it out of Hawkmoth- despite the fact that both Chat and Ladybug were so exhausted afterwards they’d nearly fallen asleep on each other in an alleyway, that they’d only barely scrambled away before their Miraculous timed out, he’s never sent so many victims after them so rapidly again.  Actually, though he feels incredibly guilty about it, Chat sometimes wishes Hawkmoth would risk it.  That had been the most time he’d ever spent with Ladybug and one of the only times in his life he’s ever felt like he’s exactly where he’s meant to be. Even if that place happened to be swinging a staff around while a stressed-out student sought revenge for a coffee-ruined flash drive.

At first he thinks he’s going to have to adjust his patrol, swinging around the school as it does- but, well, their school tends to have a serious concentration of akuma, and it’s not like anyone knows Chat Noir should be in class right now. So long as he doesn’t transform back in the area, he should be fine.

It’s mostly a rather dull day, but he does help find a lost dog (who doesn’t much like him) and, laughing to himself the whole time, help get a terrified cat down out of a tree.

Akuma have been rarer recently as it is. Hawkmoth’s had an effect he didn't anticipate- it didn’t take long for Paris to notice the if/then effect of actively upsetting someone and then having them show up as an akuma shortly afterwards, so a lot of people have begun making an effort to be kinder and more polite all around.

Ladybug worries that this means Hawkmoth’s going to change tactics soon. Chat mostly thinks it’s hilarious.

It’s not until he’s decided to go to ground for the night that he encounters anything like an actual problem.

There’s a cat in an alleyway that he vaults over. He doesn’t think much of it at first. There are plenty of stray cats around, he feeds them sometimes but they’re good at taking care of themselves.

Then he sees the teenagers. 

Three of them- no, four. He doesn't know them. Three are laughing and taunting the cat, who is trapped, hissing and spitting- they’re trying to tie cans to the cat’s tail and Chat Noir feels his own heart start hammering, because who does something like that?

The fourth teen. It’s a girl. She’s younger than the other three, not by much. Shouting at them. Chat doesn’t actually hear the words, his ears don’t seem to be working right- she chases them off. Crouches down and cautiously, slowly, approaches the cat.

He watches her warily but lets her approach.  She holds a hand out, holds it steady.

Chat realizes he’s holding his breath.

The cat bumps his head against the girl’s hand.  She smiles.

Then the abandoned cans rattle in a gust of wind, and the little cat bolts.

The teenager stays where she is, closes her eyes, looks tired and defeated.

Opens them, and looks determined, and Chat never even sees the butterfly but the change from faded t-shirt and jeans to armoured black and silver pawprint-patterned scrubs- the cat ears and tail, silver as well, more organic than his own- the feathers that tangle into her hair and the poison green war paint, of all things, on her face- all that’s hard to miss.

He calls Ladybug before he does anything else. It doesn’t go through, but she’ll know he tried to contact her and that’s the important part.

Then he jumps down, though he doesn’t really have a plan. But- this akuma happened due to a stray cat, right? There’s at least a chance she won’t want to hurt him.

She looks right at him and her face twists in a way he recognizes all too well, before she growls, “No. Not him. Ladybug, fine, but not him.”

“You know,” Chat says, trying for calm and casual. “I don’t much care for people going after my partner, either.”

She hisses at him.

"Rude," Chat replies, though he can't stop his tail twitching in agitation. "That's my line."

"Ohhh but I'm on _your_ side, pretty kitty," she purrs now, prowling closer. "I'm Shelter, you see. Safety, and hope, and shelter from the storm-"

Her intonation makes it clear she's naming herself as Shelter, which, really Hawkmoth, but even as Chat starts to say something witty (probably) back her next words drive it from his mind.

"...I just want to see all our strays in loving homes."

And that shouldn't make him falter, it shouldn't, it _shouldn't_ , but it does and he misses his chance to dodge.

Not wanting to hurt him isn't the same as not wanting him out of the way.

And it doesn't take long for him to seriously question her definition of hurt- her tail's not a tail, it's a leash, a slip lead, _the akuma_ \- and she's lassoed him around the neck with it. The hoodie impedes it but Shelter's skilled; for a moment Chat thinks wildly that at least his neck has _some_ protection.

Choking, he claws at the leash as Shelter pulls it tight, forcing him to take several stumbling steps closer to her. It doesn't help. He still can't get enough air. Just as dark spots start dancing in his vision, something sparks down the leash and now his throat feels tight and irritated. The pressure eases, but doesn't go away, and Chat gasps in air.

The leash is back to being a tail. He can see it. So what is he still clawing at?

It takes him longer than it should. It's a collar. 

For a long, panicked moment, he can't seem to stop swallowing. He needs- he needs to get to _safety_ , but that's-

"Excuse me. I think you have something of mine."

_Ladybug!_

The panic leaves him in a rush. He leaps around to greet his partner, and to call a warning, but all that comes out of his mouth is "Mrrow!"

Ladybug stares at him.

He stares back, claws twitching at his sides, tail lashing in frustration.

The leash akuma whistles by Ladybug's head. She steps aside without breaking eye contact with Chat Noir.

"Well," Ladybug says wryly. "At least it isn't mind control."

Chat makes a face at her, then whirls to knock the akumatized leash away from them again.

"Just saying, kitty, you do have kind of a track record." A somersault brings her next to him and then back upright.

His rebuttal comes out as a low whine and he flattens his ears against his head. Ladybug laughs, wraps her arm around his waist and yo-yos them both to a rooftop safely out of range.

"No, it's never your fault," she says in his ear. "And I'm grateful. Seriously. But could you maybe also worry about your own safety for, like, five minutes?"

"He should be worrying about yours!" Shelter shouts up at him.

"He already does too much of that!" Ladybug shouts back, before turning to Chat Noir again. "Seriously, are you okay? I came as fast as I could."

"Miaou," he says, then curses, which comes out as a snarl, and settles on nodding at her. One of his ears flicks sideways and they step seamlessly apart and back together as the leash whistles impotently between them again. A frustrated growl echoes up.

Ladybug lowers her voice. "The akuma's in the leash?"

He nods.

"And it's her weapon. Which does..." She gestures to all of him. "This."

He nods again, rather more fervently this time.

"And the hoodie?" She asks, smiling.

He shrugs and grins back.

"I am _trying_ to have a fight here!" Shelter howls from the alley.

"We'll be right with you," Ladybug calls back pleasantly. "Anything else, Chat?"

He shrugs slightly but shakes his head unhappily. Not only did he not prevent the akuma, he doesn't even have decent information for his Lady.

Not that she seems bothered. She grabs his wrist to slingshot them back into the alley. "Okay, then let's go!"

Shelter turns out to be very skilled. That at least makes Chat feel a little better about his missed dodge, but considering he's reduced to embarrassingly plaintive meows when he needs to swiftly communicate with his partner right now, it really doesn't even out.

The leash sweeps under him in an attempt to knock him off his feet and Chat jumps over it, and then Ladybug jumps over it a second later, and it sweeps back in a parody of jumping rope before snagging the stray cat from before. The stray cat who has, against all logic, returned to the alley.

Chat's not sure if Shelter's getting quicker, or if it just seems that way since it's not _him_ , but in moments the cat has been collared and is racing off again.

"What did you just-" Ladybug stares after the stray. Chat glances over, but isn't willing to take his eyes off their opponent entirely.

"He's going home," Shelter explains, surprisingly gently, when she sees the confusion on Chat's face. "That's primarily what it does. It sends them home, or at least somewhere safe.  Little guy might be a little panicked right now but it'll stop once he's home. I told you I was on your side." She frowns. "I didn't want to fight _you_ , it should have worked, so why-"

Chat's stomach drops as the girl's eyes flick from him to Ladybug and her eyes widen slightly.

He jumps in front of Ladybug and extends his staff defensively before Shelter can say anything else.

"Chat Noir." Ladybug's voice is quiet, the pitch she uses just for him. "That means she could follow us home. She could find out... where we..." She trails off, and Chat can _hear_ it when she works it out.

"Aww, kitty," Ladybug says, sounding sad. "That's sweet. Really kind of worrying, honestly, but sweet."

Because Chat _had_ panicked, hadn't he? Just for a short while. But he'd never wanted to go home or even to one of his hiding places, never thought of it at all. 

Because he'd wanted- _needed_ \- to wait for Ladybug to arrive.

Shelter grins at them, a little viciously. "My apologies Ladybug. I guess I _did_ have something of yours."

There's another flurry of dodging and twisted jump-rope. This really isn't Chat's fight, not with two long-range fighters and effectively no voice, but it isn't like he can leave. He wouldn't anyway but he has a pretty good idea of what would happen if he tried right now.

Which makes it especially alarming when Shelter suddenly laughs and then turns to bolt out into the streets of Paris.

Ladybug sighs. "Is it just me, or do the ones who initially had a valid point seem to turn out worse?"

Chat meows rather pointedly at her and gestures in the direction of the fleeing villain.

"Right. We could cover more ground if we split... up..." She trails off.

While she's still looking a little (a lot) lost, Chat leaps to a nearby rooftop. Little more anxiety, but doable. 

Three rooftops later, however, finds blind panic driving him to his knees. He's been hyperventilating for what feels like forever when a hand on his back brings him out of it.

"Whoa." Ladybug crouches beside him, worried. "Wow, okay, don't do that. I was only gonna say let's stay together just in case. She already got you once, I didn't want to split up anyway." She helps him upright. "We need a plan. Do you think detransforming would reset whatever she did?"

Maybe. It's hard to say. He doesn't think he's ever actually had that option after an akuma attack; either he hadn't been in a position to think of it or he'd lost access to his miraculous.

It's worth a try.

...except that he can't leave Ladybug.

He takes a deep breath, flips up his hood, and burrows into his hoodie until he's sure he's concealed.

"Chat Noir-" Ladybug yelps, far too late to stop him.

It doesn't matter anyway. "Claws out" becomes nothing but a tired mewl on the way out. It's a noise he could have gone without hearing himself make. "Cataclysm" doesn't fare much better, so timing out doesn't look like an option either, and he has no idea if Plagg's affected by this so no counting on him.

"Chat," Ladybug sounds a curious mixture of guilty and relieved as she leans hard into his side until he leans back into hers. "You didn't need to do that. I would've waited back in the alley."

He shrugs and doesn't emerge from the hoodie. Even with actual words, he's not sure he could explain to his Lady that the last few days have been tiring and stressful and he trusts her enough that this was the option he was most comfortable with.

Why were his words even a target for Shelter, anyway?

Ladybug's looking down at the streets. "There's a lot of people heading for their homes. She's fast. I don't get it, though, she's actively getting people out of the way... okay, not that guy apparently, that is an impressive black eye...but most people are just going home." She stops and sighs as several howls echo around. "And there's that. I'm still not sure about that."

Chat might have an idea. The girl had been trying to protect a stray cat, and the other teenagers had been taunting it instead, and then the cat startling so easily had given Hawkmoth an opening.

There's gravel on the roof they're on. Chat crouches down and uses his claws to scratch out the word _Empathy._

"You think she's trying to make a point?" Ladybug asks, dropping down so they're level with each other.

His claws aren't meant for this and it hurts, so he tries to drop any unnecessary words. _Saved stray from bullies_. _Scared cat, ran away. Akuma._

"She was trying to help. I hate it when Hawkmoth does this." Ladybug gestures to the collar. "And that?"

He points to the word _Empathy_ again, meows emphatically, and taps the word _cat_ because he's pretty sure his nail beds are bleeding and the word's already there.

"Her strays can't talk," Ladybug translates slowly. "She's trying to make people understand." She groans. "And she didn't want to fight you at all, it just didn't work the way she wanted. You're collateral damage."

Chat hisses because hey, he's not happy about that either.

"Sorry," Ladybug says sheepishly. "But come on, we'd better start trying to catch up with her while we plan."

He knows they need to plan, but honestly Chat just wants to curl up with Ladybug like at the river and the roof. He wonders what Shelter's powers are like for the people actually going home. The ability seems pretty intensely focused on safety, so heading for their rooms, maybe. Kitchens for the stress bakers. An art room for Nathaniel. If Nino's been hit he's probably holed up with his DJ gear. Max in his game room, Marinette with her sewing supplies, Alya closeted away with the Ladyblog open for editing and updating.

He _misses_ them. It's not even been a full school day.

He wonders if Juleka and Rose went to each other, or maybe Ivan and Mylene. Probably not Ivan and Mylene, though, they aren't attached at the hips like Rose and Juleka.

Like he is with Ladybug.

Mostly he just wants not to be the only one.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept telling myself I wasn't gonna do an animal rescue based akuma. I should really know myself better than that.


	4. Support

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please no one spoil season 2 for me ive had no chance to watch it  
> sorry for vanishing there, health problems kinda... cascaded

"Chat?" Ladybug says cautiously, pulling him from his increasingly morose thoughts. She's a rooftop ahead of him. She's been very, very careful not to get _more_ than a rooftop ahead of him. "I hate to keep asking this, but are you _sure_ you're okay?"

He shakes himself all over and jumps after her, nodding so sharply the bell at his throat jingles. It also makes the collar press against his windpipe and he suppresses the urge to growl.

"Okay," Ladybug says, but she doesn't sound like she believes him.

It's not like Shelter's hard to find. She's been collaring everyone she sees, after all, and it looks like the animals without homes to go to are congregating around her- a realization that makes Chat twitchy. How close was he to doing the same? Ladybug definitely would have been suspicious about that. This... this he's hoping he can pass off as Miraculous-related.

It looks like Shelter's found their resident journalist, who as always is not showing an iota of self-preservation and instead is interviewing a supervillain. Again. At least for once the supervillain seems fine with this.

"If you don't mind me asking- what, exactly, is your end goal today?" Miss Chamack is asking politely. That much he can say for her, at least- Miss Chamack may not always be tactful, but she does her best to be polite.

“None of these animals have homes,” Shelter’s explaining to Miss Chamack, waving a hand to encompass the milling dogs and cats. “That’s all I want. I just want everyone to see how many of them are out here. All of you need to understand!" Shelter howls- actually howls, causing several dogs to send up a howl in response. "Do you know, have you any idea, how many animals are abused? Abandoned, neglected? This city can't even appreciate half of its own superheroes properly, much less care about all these animals, about people who work hard _for_ these animals!"

Yeah, he's retroactively even happier that he'd helped that other cat earlier.  He’s… less happy about being lumped in with them.

He and Ladybug crouch on a rooftop, safely out of sight, observing. Well, _she’s_ observing, he’s mostly pressed hard against her side and fighting the inside of his own head, but no one needs to know that.

Though the way Ladybug rests a comforting hand on his shoulder means she’s probably aware.

“Huh,” Ladybug says, softly. “You know, I kind of want to let this one rant a little? She’s made it on the news for this bit and everything, people’ll remember it.”

Chat tugs pointedly at his collar and responds with a low rumble.

She sighs. “Yeah, alright. No one’s gonna miss this news segment anyway, even if they forget what happened.” She paused. “Although, actually… you’re totally coherent. This is more like Reflekta, and no one forgot that.”

He blinks, then shrugs, because that’s probably right. Maybe this akuma will actually have done some good.

Which would… kind of be an entertaining way to annoy Hawkmoth, so he’d normally be all for it, but. There’s still the whole part where she’s already damaged his ability to fight her; their possible strategies do start narrowing when they factor in the whole three-rooftop-or-so radius problem.   

“…our mayor cares for _nothing_ but himself and his spoiled _brat_ of a daughter!” Shelter is still ranting. Mmme. Chamack has to nudge her cameraman, who has begun letting his camera slowly lower in apparent disbelief.

“I think this is a record for how long they’ve done this without being attacked,” Ladybug notes, amused.

Chat nudges further into her side in response and she sighs. “Yes, all right. Lucky Charm!”

A very large dry erase board drops between them complete with red and green markers. Ladybug sighs. By now, 'what the hell' and ' _why_ ' are their typical reactions to Lucky Charms.

Chat tugs it away from her and gestures between himself and Shelter. Ladybug narrows her eyes for a moment, looks between the two and the dry erase board and then down at the crowding strays, and nods.

Chat scrawls WE GET IT on the board in somewhat shaky handwriting, claws not being great for holding a marker, as Ladybug slips down under the level of the roof to get just out of sight. 

Moments later, Chat lets out an angry yowl at an oscillating volume, a sound that makes Ladybug flinch further into the shadows even knowing it’s coming.

Shelter whips around, gaze scanning- and as soon as her eyes lock on Chat and his whiteboard, Ladybug _dives_.

She snatches at Shelter's tail as she flies past, has it in hands for bare seconds before Shelter flings it out of Ladybug's grasp with a growl- and directly into her attentive crowd of dogs and cats and kittens, at least a dozen of whom attack the whipping tail/leash themselves. 

And shred it.

Ladybug’s grabbing at the akuma before Chat Noir even makes it to the ground.

Butterfly purified, she takes the whiteboard from him with a nod and throws it into the air one-handed, impressively far, and as she shouts “Miraculous Ladybug!” Chat relaxes into the familiar sense of her magic washing over and through him.

The collars on the gathered animals disappear. _His_ collar disappears, and he brings a hand up to rub at his throat with a wince.

He’s at Ladybug’s side in time to help her catch Shelter as the woman stumbles and trips, disoriented as the transformation is removed.

“What…” she mumbles, shaking her head.  Then she looks up, really looks at them, and her eyes widen and she’d stumble again if they weren’t bracing her. “No, I… couldn’t have…”

“It’s not your fault,” Ladybug says swiftly.

“Hawkmoth uses emotions against you,” Chat adds. His voice comes out much quieter and rougher than usual and he winces internally. “There’s nothing wrong with feeling strongly.”

The woman raises her head and scans around her. “Did I… are these all strays?”

“Uh, yeah, we’re pretty sure,” Chat admits, letting her go to scratch the back of his head. “You sorta… sent the ones with homes, to those homes?”

“I’ve gotta…” She stares. “I work at a shelter, I’ve… I should get them there, this is over capacity, but I should…”

Ladybug shares a swift glance with Chat Noir. Her earrings beep.

“Listen,” Ladybug says. “We’ll help you, but I’ve gotta run an errand, all right? Chat Noir will stay with you and help you get them to your shelter. I’ll catch up with you.”

Her earrings beep again, but she turns to Chat before going anywhere. Prepared for a fist bump, he’s startled when she pulls him in for a hug instead.

Head against his shoulder, she murmurs, “Chat, you know you can come to me for anything, right? Miraculous related or not. We’re partners. If you need me, I’ll be there.”

He swallows hard, then nods slowly as she pulls away.

She gives him a searching look when he doesn’t say anything, but another beep from her earrings has her swinging away reluctantly, and he turns back to Shelter.

There’s a calico kitten in her arms and Chat is abruptly aware of the two grown cats twining around his ankles. He looks down at the black cat and white cat and snorts, then looks back to Shelter.

“So, hey,” he says, awkwardly. “What’s your actual name?”

“Oh! Oh, it’s uh, it’s Sarah.” She shifts uncomfortably and the calico kitten head-butts her arm. “I’m… really sorry.”

He shakes his head. “Again, not your fault.”

“It kinda is, though?” Sarah says awkwardly, though she does begin to walk, pulling a slip lead from one of her pockets and leashing one of the terriers nearby with a practiced move. Most of the other strays are still following them, either because of some lingering akuma effect or because of something about Chat or Sarah themselves. “I let my emotions get the best of me.  I should know better.”

Chat shakes his head again. “You’re human. It happens. We’re just unlucky that Hawkmoth is around to take advantage of it.” He stops for a second and turns to her, nearly putting his hands on her shoulders before thinking better of it- he doesn’t really know her, after all. “And it _is_ taking advantage. There is _nothing wrong_ with strong emotions.”

Sarah sighs. “I _.._ I _know_ that, but…”

“But it’s hard when this keeps happening to people,” Chat completes sympathetically. “Yeah, I know. That’s why Ladybug and I are fighting."  He steps back again and grins, gesturing widely. "And hey, look at all these guys getting to go to shelters! Man, you probably just managed to mess up Hawkmoth's plans even worse than we do, you know that?" His ears flick forwards and his eyes widen. "Oh! Oh, you don't even know the best part!"

He's walking backwards now, the crowd of strays still tailing them both. Sarah looks at him warily and says, "Best part? There were  good parts?"

Chat's grin grows. "Well, you know how sometimes Mmme. Chamack interviews people who're akumatized?"

She stares at him.

"You, ah," he sweeps his arm out to indicate the cats and dogs. "You kinda put out a call for adoption. A very, uh, _enthusiastic_ one."

For the first time, Sarah smiles. It lights up her face. "That's... that's great. Oh, we're here!" She stops at the door and looks at him. "Um, would you mind waiting a second?"

He scratches the back of his head. "Sure, I'm still waiting for Ladybug to catch up anyway."

Sarah runs into the shelter, several animals trailing, and is back out sans animals in minutes. She's blushing heavily and clutching a pen, a journal and a poster. "I'd just, I'd just really love your autograph. If you don't mind."

"It's no problem," he assures her softly, signing both items. Then he hesitates. "Don't you want Ladybug's signature?"

Ducking her head, Sarah says, "I'm, ah, more a Chat Noir fan."

That's... new.

Chat stays to help Sarah get the strays into the building and settled in. She wasn't kidding, they're way over capacity, but it isn't long before volunteers and workers from other shelters and from animal hospitals show up and start to help as well. Some of the strays go to other shelters, some to foster homes, some- although not many, because it's too busy to do thorough enough background checks- are adopted on the spot. He's so busy, by the time he sees Ladybug he has no idea how long she's been there.

Or how long _he's_ been there, for that matter. Long enough to be offered three kittens and five full-grown cats (he turned them all down, reluctantly) but that's not the best way of tracking time. 

He actually runs into her when he trips over a puppy and she catches him.

"There you are," she says, laughing. "You know it's been hours, right?  It's late. We should probably get going."

"Hours?" He blinks. " _We_? How long have you been here?"

Ladybug laughs again. "A while, kitten." She raises her voice and waves. "Hey, Sarah! I found a kitten I like, mind if I take him home?"

" _Hey_ ," Chat says, trying hard to sound indignant. He's pretty sure he fails.

 Sarah laughs and waves back. "That ones' already yours, I think." Her smile softens. "Thank you both. For everything." 

"It's our job," Ladybug says, though helping at the shelter actually isn't, and then she tugs Chat back outside.

To his surprise, she walks with him in silence for a bit, then tugs him into an alley and hugs him again.

"Anything, Chat," she says softly. "Any time."

She leaves before he can think of anything to say back.

He goes to a different rooftop hiding place this time, closer to the shelter, and switches back to Adrien when he gets there. He takes maybe three bites of a roll before falling asleep. Plagg can't even scold him, because he fell asleep first.

Plus when he wakes up (whenever that is, his internal clock is way off without a routine), he finishes the roll and a protein bar besides, and Plagg teases him but looks happy before suggesting patrolling again.

There's something in the alley again when Chat leaps over it, so he turns and jumps down instead and finds a backpack. It's black and green and has 'Chat Noir' written on it in silver fabric paint.

There's no one around. He brings it back to his rooftop and cautiously opens it.

There's water bottles, protein bars, a Swiss Army knife, a flashlight, a Ladybug and Chat Noir coloring book with crayons, and a note that reads "Thank you. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me."

Chat stares at it for a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont worry this isnt Chat/OC sarah is just a very big fan of his


	5. Haven

 

The thing about the patrols is, it doesn’t really make sense to do them. Paris is a big city and there are only two of them.

The thing about the backpack is, it isn't from Ladybug. After all, Sarah-as-Shelter had adopted Chat Noir's colors, too.

The thing about the patrols is that Ladybug and Chat Noir are really doing them for Ladybug and Chat Noir, not necessarily for Paris.

The thing about the backpack is there's a newspaper tucked inside as well. Without a phone or any internet access, Adrien hasn't really had access to any news short of hearing it from Ladybug.

One of the magazines has one of his own photos in it, a relatively recent one that he _knows_ wasn't released before he left, accompanied by a title and article that he numbly skims.

Adrien Agreste has taken an unexpected trip to America for a prestigious photo shoot, apparently. For an undisclosed amount of time.

He sets the magazine down slowly, letting the transformation go at the same time.

"Phew!" Plagg spirals once in the air and then dives into their food stash, coming back up with a piece of Camembert larger than himself. "That was exhausting, I'm gonna eat all of- whoa! Kid?"

Adrien's huddled back into his corner as far as he can go, hood flipped up and drawn in on himself, lost in the oversize hoodie. He says something, but it's too quiet even for Plagg's ears, and his face isn't visible beneath the hood.

Plagg flits into the hoodie, nearly dropping his cheese, and settles on Adrien's shoulder. "Kid? What's wrong with you?"

"Plagg," Adrien mumbles, raising a hand slightly like he's going to pet his kwami, then letting it drop instead. "It's- Father's- he's... " Adrien trails off.

Muttering under his breath, Plagg reluctantly trails back out of the hoodie to alight on the magazine Adrien left open. "Oh. Huh." He tilts his head at it. "He _really_ doesn't want anyone to think you ran away, huh?"

"What's the point," Adrien mutters, curling in on himself even more. "No one's gonna care. Nino and Alya and Marinette are all going to think I'm a terrible friend, I just left without telling them."

Plagg rolls his eyes and flits upwards to be at eye level with Adrien. "Kid, they don't think that."

"But what if they-"

"Kid," Plagg repeats firmly. "They don't think that."

Adrien sags, playing absently with the sleeves of his hoodie. "But-"

"Nino got akumatized trying to make sure you could have a birthday party," Plagg reminds him. "You've heard Alya's opinion on your father. Marinette's _met_ your father. They aren't gonna blame you, and you shouldn't either!" He reigns himself in, barely. Yelling at Adrien will always do more harm than good.

The thing is, Adrien does blame himself, and Plagg knows it. He just doesn't know how to stop it. Not for the first time, he wishes being his kwami gave him more of an insight into the kid's head- he's had other self-destructive Chat Noirs, but none of them were quite like Adrien. Humans are all so different from each other, and Ladybug and Chat Noir are much younger than he's used to this time around, too.

He wonders sometimes what made Master Fu make that particular decision. He can guess why these two kids, but not why they _are_ kids. Most Chat Noirs and Ladybugs are- okay, not a _whole_ lot older,  given the span of human experience, but. More mature. Married with kids of their own, sometimes, in Ladybug's case. (That had never been safe for a Chat Noir).

"But what if-" Adrien starts again, fretful, and Plagg sighs.

This is going to be a long day.

* * *

 

"He's acting so weird."

Tikki flits around Marinette's head a moment before perching on her headboard. "You kind of are too, Marinette."

The girl rolls over and buries her head in her cat-shaped pillow. When she answers, her voice is muffled. "No m'not, Tikki. I'm just... worried."

"Yeah, but..." Tikki peers down worriedly as Marinette's hands curl into the pillow. "You haven't said a word about Adrien."

Marinette waves one hand in the air. "Of course I'm worried about Adrien!  But his dad probably just took his phone. He'll contact Nino when he can." She sighs and repeats, "Besides, Tikki, of _course_ I'm worried about Adrien, but I can't _do_ anything for him. Chat Noir...  Maybe I can help Chat.  I've never seen him like this, Tikki, it's awful.  He's still trying to act okay, but it's so obvious he's not." She groans.  "Remember what I was worried about before? What if I was right?"

"You mean when you were worried about Chat's home life?" Tikki asks. "I... don't know, Marinette. All we can do is ask him, and I don't think he'll answer."

"I wish he'd trust me with this," Marinette frets. "I want to help him."

"You can't force trust, Marinette," Tikki reminds her.

Marinette sighs. "That's just it. I know he does trust me. So what on earth is going on that he won't talk to me about it?" 

Tikki doesn't have an answer for her.

Marinette needs to get some sleep at this rate, because she's been out as often as she can since Chat Noir started acting strange, but after a few hours of lying awake she finds herself climbing out onto her roof anyway.

"Marinette?" Tikki whispers, darting after her fretfully.

"I finally get a night to rest and I can't sleep," Marinette says. "Now I'm worried about _both_ of them." Not wanting to go back in, but not wanting to waste a chance to rest, she curls up on a chaise lounge and stares up at the few stars visible beyond Paris' lights. Tikki flits over and settles on her shoulder, silently joining her in looking up at the night sky.

They've been staring in silence for who knows how long before a familiar, amused voice says, "Stargazing? On a school night?"

Marinette startles upright and Tikki darts frantically into hiding before she's spotted.  " _Chat Noir?"  
_

He's crouched on her balcony railing, tail curled out lazily for balance, still wearing the hoodie she'd given him, head tilted with curiosity and eyes bright.

...His eyes are _too_ bright, actually. Marinette feels her own expression soften in sympathy and hopes it's not obvious. If Chat won't tell Ladybug what's wrong, no way does he want Marinette to know.

However, Marinette does want desperately to know, so she pulls her knees to her chest as she sits upright and says, "Couldn't sleep. What's your excuse, alley cat?"

Is she imagining it or do his eyes dim for a moment at that?

If they do, she can't tell because he looks away a moment later, scratching at the back of his head awkwardly. "I, uh, also couldn't sleep. So when I saw your light, I...." He stumbles to a halt, ducking his head and peering up at her through his fringe. "Sorry. I didn't mean to intrude."

There's a lump in her throat. She swallows once before saying, softly, "You're not intruding, Chat Noir. I was already awake, remember?" Struck with inspiration, she points at the closest light and adds, "Actually, if that's on, you can assume I'm awake. Feel free to stop by anytime."

Cat straightens a little, looking more stunned than such a simple offer warrants. "Really?! Um, I mean, thanks, princess."

Marinette laughs, though he looks so happy with such a small gesture that her heart hurts a little bit. Does he really have so few people to turn to? She regrets not going out as Ladybug if it makes the kind of difference to her partner that he'd come seeking her civilian identity when he barely knows her.  It's not like she's sleeping anyway.

And Chat looks so lonely.

"Come down off the railing," Marinette tells him at last, taking a step back before she thinks of something. "Oh- actually, I mean, still come down, but- let me grab something!" Before he can answer, she ducks back and swings inside. Grabbing an abandoned plate of macaroons off her bedside table, she pulls herself back out of the skylight.

"You are way more athletic than you have any right to be," Chat tells her.

He's come down off the railing, but now he's hunkered down beside it in a pose that's more feline than it also has any right to be. After their fight with Shelter it leaves Marinette uneasy but she's not sure how to address that, so she laughs and plops down on the ground next to him. When he freezes she reflects on her certainty that he's touch-starved but outwardly simply leans slightly into his side as she offers him the macaroons. "Here, I made these earlier."

"Uh," he stutters. "Um, I mean, are you- are you sure?"

She laughs again. "I wouldn't offer if I wasn't."

"Th-thanks." The care he picks up the cookies with is almost reverent. It's definitely a lot more than her crumbly macaroons deserve, but it clearly means a lot to him so she doesn't comment.

After all she's trying to cheer him up. It's starting to seem like a lost cause, if he's seeking out Marinette on nights when Ladybug isn't available, but she can't help it. He's still her best friend whether he knows it or not.

And, speaking of that... "Nice hoodie, by the way."

He finally relaxes at that, although his tail still twitches more than strictly usual. "Oh! Thanks. It's, uh, Ladybug gave it to me." He fidgets, then darts a glance at her. "You... like to sew, right? I mean, uh, I get that impression."

"Yeah, I love to sew," she tells him, smiling. "Did Ladybug make the hoodie?"

"I think so?" he says uncertainly.  "She didn't actually say so, but it's a little more... personalized than what you can find in the shops." Even as he says it she can see him fiddling with the sleeves, running his fingers almost convulsively over the softer red fabric inside.

Well, that's good. She'd been worried about his claws snagging the cloth- it doesn't look like that's a problem. It also looks like... okay, actually, it looks like he's taking a little more comfort from it than she'd intended. This is worrying. She'd wanted him to  have a tangible reminder that she cared about him, but he shouldn't be relying on it.

It's a weekday. He should be home, with other people who care about him.

Marinette thinks about the suspicions she's talked about with Tikki and feels cold.

Chat Noir hasn't noticed her introspection, busy savouring cookies. She really hopes he's had more than that to eat tonight. Also- he's been out with her every night this week, and Alya had even mentioned he'd been out during the day more than once. When was the last time he'd slept? And how can she bring it up without revealing how she knew?

Wait, she actually has a perfect reason. "So Alya says she's seen a lot of you this week."

She's sitting close enough to feel it when he freezes up. "Yeah. I, uh had some free time, so. Figured I'd step up patrols."

She's sure he doesn't usually stammer as much as he has been the past few days, either. What is going on with him? She decides to try and press him further, but cautiously- it's no help to anyone if she scares him off now. "Free time? Wish I had some of that. School's been pretty crazy."

"Has it?" he says, tail lashing nervously.

Is he supposed to be _in_ school during the day? She still doesn't know how old he is, but it would make a lot of sense if they were the same age. But if he is then he hasn't been to school in days.

She can think of a number of reasons for that but none of them are good. All of them leave her worried for her friend.

"Yeah," she says at last and sighs. "Well, no, not really. Not in terms of schoolwork or anything like that. But one of my friends got sent off unexpectedly, and no one's really happy about that. I think Nino's ready to go on the warpath again."

Chat Noir's tail falls still. Slowly he says, "One of your friends?"

Marinette nods. "Yeah, this boy I know. His father pulled him out of class unexpectedly." Uncharacteristically, she finds herself scowling.  "You know, I used to admire his father? But he's not very kind to Adrien."

* * *

 

Plagg was right.  This had been a bad idea.

But Adrien hadn't been able to sit still any longer, and once he'd seen the lights on Marinette's balcony he hadn't been able to help himself. Marinette was a friend. More than that, she was a friend who'd welcomed Chat Noir more than once, even helped him in a fight before- most of their class had proved themselves against akuma before but Marinette was probably one of the more impressive civilians, along with Alya.

Mostly, though, he was lonely and she was a friend.

Even if their conversation has ventured into dangerous territory now he can't quite regret coming here. Marinette had offered a sympathetic ear and a place to go when he's feeling like this, and he'd be lying to himself if he said he could resist either one.

The least he can do is listen to her in turn, so his ears flicker towards her and he slowly resumes eating as she tells him that he's gone missing. Well. That he's gone.

"He would have told us he was going," Marinette is saying, eyes distant. Absently she plucks a macaroon from the plate. "He never mentioned it and he's not answering his phone, so he must not have known about it. He loves school- I doubt he wanted to go." She frowns. "And there's nothing in any of the programs in New York that even mentions him. I have no idea how they're keeping it so quiet."

"New York?" Adrien says, quiet himself, and realizes a split second later that he should have latched onto the 'he loves school' thing instead. It's going to serve him right if Marinette figures him out before Ladybug does.

Lucky for him she doesn't seem to notice the oddity, nodding in reply to him instead. "Yeah. I mean, they announced he was going to be in America, no one actually said New York, but the Gabriel brand always does their shows in New York, so I figured if it was anywhere it'd be there, but there's no sign of it and-" She sighs. "Sorry, I'm rambling."

It takes Adrien a minute to find his voice again. "No, it's fine. You're worried about your friend, right?"

The smile Marinette gives him rivals Ladybug's. "Yeah. Sorry anyway though, I was trying to cheer you up and here I've been telling you my problems instead."

"You really have cheered me up," Chat assures her, touched that she'd even thought of such a thing. It's true besides- he knows Marinette is shy around him as Adrien, even if he isn't quite sure why, and it means a lot to him that she cares enough to try and figure out where he is.

That he's actually sitting next to her is beside the point.

Marinette's shaking her head with a faint smile. "Well, I'm glad to hear that. I didn't mean to start talking your ear off about Adrien." She sighs. "The akuma are enough trouble, it's not something you should have to deal with."

He knows she doesn't mean that the way it sounds but it warms him to hear it anyway. His voice is gentle as he says, "It's okay. You're a good friend, Marinette."

"I wish I could be a better one," she says quietly, tilting her head back against the railing and closing her eyes. "We're trying to find a way to get a message to Adrien. We want him to know we all want him back here with us."

"We?" Chat breathes, hardly daring to hope.

Marinette nods without opening her eyes. "We. Everyone's been trying to come up with something- our whole class. Even Chloe." She snorts. "Girl may be a bit of a witch, and she has no idea how to express her emotions, but it seems like she genuinely does miss Adrien. And Alya's trying to use the Ladyblog, she's been contacting any usernames she thinks might be him. We figured... even if he doesn't have his phone, and even if he can't check a computer regularly, we could drop messages. We just need to know which username is actually his."

Adrien wishes he could tell her. But there's no way he can do that now without arousing way too much suspicion, and even if he could, what was he supposed to tell his friends when they reached him? He can't admit to not actually being in New York. It's not like he currently has computer access anyway.

He ignores the voice that whispers in the back of his mind that Marinette would let him use hers. Not only do all the other reasons still apply, he can't keep coming here. He knew that from the start, he just- hadn't quite been able to keep away, tonight. He can't make a habit of this.

He _can't_ , no matter how much he wants to.

"You're all good friends," he says at last.  He doesn't know what else to say.

"Glad you think so," Marinette says warmly, before stretching and sighing. "Ugh. I have to be up in a few hours." She pauses, then says hesitantly, "You're, uh, welcome to stay, though. I mean, I can't invite you in, my parents would kill me, but there's always the... " She stops with a look of dawning realization.  "Actually, you know what? You _can_ come in. You'll know if anyone's coming in, right? And anyway, my parents never come in my room without knocking."

There's a lump in his throat as he says, "Thanks, but I shouldn't." Superhero or not, Marinette could get in serious trouble for hiding him in her room. That she would make the offer at all is nothing short of amazing.

That she can trust her parents that much is amazing, but he knows by now that it shouldn't be.

Marinette gives him a searching look, then sighs and nods. "Okay. But know that the offer's open. And don't forget that I'll leave the light on for you."

"I won't," he promises, and hesitates, because she needs to go to sleep and he still doesn't want to go. There's no bodyguard to watch his every move, there's no one to know if he gives in and spends the night in Marinette's room.

But he'd know. And Marinette would know. Possibly Alya would know, though he's reasonably certain Marinette would be better at keeping a secret than that. He sighs himself and pulls out his baton, ready to vault away. "Thanks, princess. I won't forget." He salutes and throws himself over the balcony, throwing his baton ahead of himself.

He reaches his hiding spot and looks around tiredly. The pile of blankets in the corner looks less inviting than ever. He sighs and begins to pick up the books and journals he's left scattered around.

He doesn't change back.


	6. sanctum

Plagg stares down at Adrien. 

He's fallen asleep as Chat Noir again. Plagg had waited until the transformation weakened on its own, rather than ending it, because he knows Adrien won't sleep at all if he forces a change back. 

This isn't healthy. This can't continue. 

At least the kid has confirmation now that people are worried about him. Plagg still stands by his reasoning that Marinette's balcony is way too close to Adrien's father for comfort, but honestly, as far as Plagg is concerned the entire city is too close to Adrien's father.  On some level, Plagg regrets that they can't leave Paris. 

Recalling how warm and inviting Marinette's balcony had looked, Plagg sighs. Of course Adrien was going to go to it. No matter what he tells himself, he'll go back, too, like a moth to a flame. As starved for affection as he is, with a friend that offers him comfort and asks nothing in return? Plagg hadn't been sure Adrien wouldn't take her offer to stay immediately.

The kid's huddled into his hoodie again. Honestly, why does he bother to leave blankets here if he's just going to curl into a ball and huddle against the wall to sleep every night? 

Plagg looks his charge over and finds himself frowning.  The kid's posture is more feline than human, which shouldn't be transferring over to his civilian identity. Plagg's not sure what to do about that. Theoretically, it means Adrien's spending too much time as Chat Noir, but Adrien's also happiest as Chat Noir.  Even if that wasn't true, he's _needed_ as Chat Noir- and Adrien needs to be needed. 

With a tired sigh, Plagg collects enough food for a reasonable breakfast and brings it to Adrien's side for when the kid wakes. There's no one to keep a strict eye on Adrien's eating habits now- Plagg is going to bully him into eating as frequently as possible for as long as he can.  

This can't continue, but Plagg has no idea what to do about it. 

 

* * *

 

"Chat," Ladybug says. There's no akuma, patrol's been quiet, so they're just resting on the Eiffel Tower for the moment. 

"Yes, milady?" He asks her, giving her a flourishing bow and hoping to himself that she's not about to call his bluff. He knows very well he hasn't exactly been at the top of his game on this patrol. He's strangely exhausted, and he can't stop thinking about his friends trying so hard to contact him- it makes him feel warm that they're trying, but it also makes him desperately sad that he has no way to reply. They deserve better than that from him. 

It's a good thing there hasn't been an akuma tonight.  He's not in the best shape to be fighting and he knows it.  

"Come here, kitty," Ladybug says kindly, patting the floor next to where she's sitting, back up against a railing. 

Chat goes willingly, dropping down next to her with a groan that's not wholly exaggerated. 

"You alright?" Ladybug asks him, nudging his side with her elbow. 

He summons up a smile. "Yeah, just. Not sleeping well." That isn't strictly true, he's not sure he's ever slept so much as he has been recently, but he's certainly not sleeping _well_ so it also isn't entirely a lie. 

"Hmm." She leans into him. "Well, we can't have that. Do you have anywhere you can go to take cat naps, kittycat?"

He thinks of Marinette's offer.  He thinks of what a terrible risk it would be, and how badly he wants to take her up on it anyway. "Uh, maybe. Not... really sure yet."

"Well," Ladybug says softly, draping an arm around him and tugging him into her side. "Let me know if there's anything I can help with, Chat." 

He can't tell her. She'd help, yes, but what would he even say? Hey, Ladybug, I'm homeless now? I'm actually rich and could go back anytime, but I've chosen to live on rooftops and talk to my kwami more than any other human instead.  You know, like a crazy person. Yeah, that would go over well. 

Rather than answer her, Chat focuses on the feel of her arm around him. Though she's gentle, he can feel the controlled strength in her grip. If he ducks his head ever so slightly, he can fit his head beneath her chin, and- yeah. There he goes. He curls up tightly, head ducked beneath Ladybug's and her arms around him (when had she wrapped him in a hug), and this is the only place he ever really feels safe anymore. 

When she reaches up to scratch gently at his chin, he melts into her with a purr, not wanting to think about his situation anymore. She says something but it doesn't register- he's too busy concentrating on just how nice it feels to be held, to be wanted. Ladybug had _asked_ him to come sit with her; she'd wrapped her arms around him herself. Even he can't convince himself she didn't want to to do this. 

A week ago he wouldn't have tried. Plagg is right, he _is_ getting self-destructive. He just isn't sure how to stop. 

"Hey," Ladybug says softly, and this time it gets through to him. He purrs and tries to press closer anyway and she gently pries him off to look him in the eyes. "Hey, Chat. I can't patrol tomorrow night, but I'll check my comm, all right? So please, _please_ comm me if you need anything. Seriously, anything. I mean it."

"Okay," he agrees, tail lashing, because he knows he won't. Hesitantly, he asks, "But you don't have to go yet tonight, right?" 

Something unreadable flashes in Ladybug's eyes for a moment before her arms tighten around him again. "No, kitty, not yet."

"Good," he mumbles, before headbutting her lightly until she rolls her eyes and brings one hand up to scratch behind his ears. Sighing, he tilts further into her and closes his eyes. 

It would be nice if he could just stay here forever. 

He has no idea how long it's been before she's shaking him awake. "Chat Noir? Sorry, Chat, but I really do have to go. There are people waiting for me." 

"That must be nice," he mutters and feels her pause. When he's more awake he'll be upset he said that, he's sure, but right now he can't bring himself to care. 

He stretches and sits up, carefully not looking at Ladybug. He can be embarrassed in private back on his rooftop later. "Sorry, like I said. Not sleeping well." 

She eyes him as she stands and stretches as well. "No kidding. I don't think I've ever seen anyone doze off that fast." 

"I'm a master of my craft," he tells her, climbing to his feet. 

Ladybug snorts. "Chat. That makes no sense." She hesitates, then darts in to hug him again. "Be careful, kitty. I'll see you in a couple days." 

Oh. Right. She said she has a prior commitment, so no patrol tomorrow night. "I'll be there," he says inanely and then watches as she beams at him before swinging away. 

Chat Noir sighs and starts the long trek back to his lonely rooftop. 

 

* * *

 

Adrien's day doesn't go well.

There's no akuma, at least, but by noon he almost would have welcomed one. 

He never knew boredom could get this bad.  He's read all the books here, he has nothing to write in his journals (he'd even brought extra journals but anything he actually _wants_ to write down wouldn't be safe to record). He has nothing to do now but run around as Chat Noir, and Plagg is trying to convince him to limit that; on top of that when he'd gone to jump over the alley where he'd fought Shelter he'd startled and stumbled and fallen in. 

Because there was another backpack. 

Full of food. And the address of the animal shelter- and of a homeless shelter. 

He'd taken it, because he wasn't so proud as to turn down free food when, frankly, his supplies were running low (he really did need to change roofs but he was reluctant to do so until he was actually out of food entirely), but.  He isn't sure how he feels about being treated like a stray. 

The fact that the assumption isn't _wrong_ only makes it grate more. 

He should probably avoid the alleyway for a while. If Sarah is already pointedly giving him addresses for shelters, then he doesn't want to run into her in person again. 

He can't justify taking up a bed in the shelter, anyway.  Other people need it more than him, people who didn't run away on purpose. People who wouldn't be rich if they went back. 

He might be cold and hungry and lonely, but he still doesn't want to go back. He'd still be cold and hungry and lonely even if he did, anyway, he'd just be trapped as well.  

He takes the backpack back to his rooftop but he takes a circuitous route just in case. He doubts Sarah is hanging around the alley waiting for him to show, and she shouldn't be able to follow the path he takes over the roofs, but it won't hurt to be cautious.

He tumbles into the protected corner and lets the transformation go.  Plagg shakes himself and darts into the corner where Adrien left the camembert. 

"It's so draining to change back and forth this much," Plagg complains, already muffled by the cheese. 

Adrien shakes his sleeves down over his hands as he trudges to his usual corner. "Sorry, Plagg. Chat Noir's a lot less suspicious than Adrien." 

Plagg gulps down the last bit of cheese and looks over. "I get it, kid. But don't you think you should be Adrien sometimes?" 

Adrien scowls as he flops down onto his blankets. "Not really." 

Plagg doesn't say anything as he spirals closer before settling just inside Adrien's hood. Then he says, "Kid. You can't stay transformed forever."

Adrien shifts back against the wall without replying, crossing his arms. 

"Kid, seriously." Plagg settles against his collar bone. "It's not healthy. It could seriously mess you up." 

Shrugging, Adrien lets his head fall back. "So you've said. But really, Plagg, if it's between Adrien and Chat Noir, Chat Noir is needed more." 

Plagg bites him. 

"Ow!" Adrien starts to slap at him instinctively, but stops before making contact. "Plagg, why did you do that?" 

"Because you're an idiot," Plagg informs him sharply, flitting out of the hoodie to glare at him. "Marinette _just told you_ the other night that your friends are looking for you. They're looking for _you,_ kid, not for a superhero." 

Closing his eyes, Adrien concentrates on his breathing. Plagg's right, of course. He'd just... forgotten. Even now, he isn't used to the idea of _having_ friends, much less friends who would worry when he went missing. If Marinette's already at the point of checking programs in New York, they might even start to realise he _had_ gone missing, not left the country. 

It won't be a good thing if they figure out what's happened, because Adrien can't go back and can't tell them that he's safe, but it means a lot to him that they'd try.

"Kid?" Plagg says quietly. "Hey, kid, you should eat. You've been running around all day, I know you didn't do the sensible thing and stop for food." 

"Not hungry," Adrien mutters before he can stop himself.  It's not true- now that Plagg's mentioned food, he's acutely aware that it's been at least a day since he's eaten, because he'd ignored Plagg about breakfast too- but he never has been very good about admitting when he was hungry. 

Besides, food just doesn't seem interesting or important to him recently. 

Abruptly, Plagg announces, "I think you should go to Marinette's."

Adrien jerks backwards so hard his head hits the wall behind him. Eyes wide, rubbing the back of his head, he stares at Plagg. "You said not to." 

"That was before I knew you were an idiot," Plagg snaps, darting in tight, agitated circles. "Maybe she can talk sense into you." 

"You said I was spending too much time as Chat Noir," Adrien points out. 

"Yeah kid, that's still true." Plagg scowls. "But it does no one any good if you _starve_ before it can even become a problem." 

Adrien hesitates, then says, "Plagg? You've been really vague about this. I get it if it's some kind of kwami thing and you can't tell me, but... Why is it a problem?" 

"You're picking up cat traits in both forms," Plagg says bluntly. "Not just when you're transformed. That can be permanent." 

Adrien recoils- and hisses, he realises a moment after he's done it. His stomach drops. He opens his mouth, then shuts it when he realises he has nothing to say. 

Because he's backed himself into a corner. 

He _has_ to spend time as Chat Noir, because he can't be Adrien now. He's been telling himself he could go back if he really needed to but- that's a lie. He's not going back and he knows it. It's been too long, it had been too long after the very first night; if he goes back his father will never let him out again and that's why he left in the first place. 

"Kid," Plagg says. "Go to Marinette's." 

Adrien draws in a breath. "Claws out."

 

* * *

 

"Marinette," Tikki hisses, flitting and darting anxiously. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" 

Marinette holds up the shirt she's working on with a sigh, looking it over critically. She's not too happy with it yet, but honestly, she's only working on it right now at all to give her hands something to do.  "No. But Tikki, what else am I supposed to do? We can't leave him like this. If he starts acting any more like a stray cat he's gonna go feral." 

Tikki is suspiciously silent. 

"Tikki?" Marinette narrows her eyes at her kwami. "Is there something I should know?" 

"Probably not," Tikki says, voice small. "It's.... only ever happened once." 

Setting the skirt down, Marinette swivels to face her friend. " _What's_ only ever happened once?" 

"Um." Tikki sets down on her bed, fidgeting a little. "Chat Noir... well, Chat Noir actually can..." 

"Can what?" Marinette demands. "Are you telling me Chat could _actually_ go feral?" 

"Sort of?" Tikki squeaks out. At Marinette's incredulous look, she ducks her head. "It's only ever happened once! You know how you're more affected by the cold now?" 

Slowly, Marinette nods, not taking her eyes off her kwami. 

Tikki wrings her hands. "W-well, that's because ladybugs hibernate. Most of their traits aren't very noticeable in humans, but... Chat Noir tends to pick up cat traits. Those are more obvious. And... stronger." 

"Stronger," Marinette repeats. "Stronger how, Tikki?" 

"Marinette," Tikki says softly. "He chases rats. He purrs. He... his body language is changing too rapidly, and I haven't seen that in almost any other Chat Noir, and it's getting worse.  It's probably spilling over to his civilian identity by now." Her wings droop.  "It's possible Shelter accelerated it but something was going on before that. But... yes. Chat Noir can go feral." She pauses. "Wait, feral isn't quite the right word- "

Marinette interrupts her with a determined gleam in her eyes.  "Okay, so how do we stop it?" She tilts her head. "Assuming we want to." 

"Of course we want to," Tikki assures her, exasperated. "I know what you're thinking, Marinette, but it won't make him happier." 

"Tikki, I don't think he's been home in days," Marinette says softly, setting the shirt down to pull her pillow from her bed and wrap her arms around it. "I wouldn't be seeing him so much if he had, and Alya wouldn't be posting so many pictures and videos on the Ladyblog." Chat's been out at all hours for more than a week now. If he ever had a schedule, he's no longer following it. 

"He still deserves to stay _human_ ," Tikki says, far more sharply than usual, and Marinette startles backwards a little. 

"Of course," she says, chagrined. "You know I didn't mean it like that, Tikki. I want him to be okay.  I want him to be himself." 

"He needs to spend less time as Chat Noir." Tikki doesn't meet her gaze as she says it. 

Marinette slumps and rubs at her eyes. "Great. How do I bring that up without it being suspicious? 

"I have no idea," Tikki admits. 

Before they can begin to brainstorm, there's a thump on the roof. 

Marinette's eyes widen. "I left the light on for him. Tikki, hide!" 

Tikki doesn't say anything else, darting beneath the chaise lounge instead. There's a tiny bed under there that Marinette made for Tikki to hide from her parents, and a variety of cookies in a sealed tin, so she'll be comfortable.  (There's maybe also a variety of tiny furniture, but if Marinette wants to spoil her kwami a little that's her business).  After the last time Chat was here, Marinette had tidied up her room, too; she still had a lot of photos but they were mostly pictures of her friends in a group, now. There were still more than a few of Adrien alone because she couldn't _not_ , especially when she didn't know when she'd actually see him for real again, but she'd managed to tone it down at least. She'd even made sure to swap her desktop background for one of the Ladyblog's backgrounds, an old shot of her and Chat Noir swinging down from the Eiffel Tower.

There's been no sound besides that initial thump, so Marinette is cautious when she pokes her head through the skylight- it wouldn't be the first time an akuma has shown up at her home, after all. 

But her gaze does only fall on Chat Noir, who's crouched against the balcony railing just past where the light can reach. He's _still_ wearing the hoodie- his hood's up and he's twisting his tail in his hands. Marinette's heart goes out to him immediately, because somehow he looks even worse than he had the previous night. 

"Hey Chat Noir," she greets him, hauling herself the rest of the way onto the roof and reflecting wryly to herself on the irony that this is what she'd meant when she'd told Chat Noir she'd be busy. She doesn't think he'd been aware of the look he'd given her at that but it had nearly been enough for her to relent and promise to patrol instead. He needs to connect with more people than just Ladybug, though, and.... Well, _he_ doesn't know he isn't, and that's the important part. 

Besides, if he's _here_ she can hardly miss him calling her on her comm. 

Chat Noir nods at her quietly and moves from his crouch to a more human position, though he's still sitting on his knees. Marinette keeps her frown to herself, but Chat's a chatterbox.  He should already be talking at her. 

"Are you feeling all right?" she asks him, taking a step closer and stopping immediately when he flinches back. She's never seen him do that before. "Chat Noir?" 

"Fine," he says quietly. His voice is raspy. He clears his throat. "I'm fine, princess." He shifts his weight from side to side, still not looking directly at her, and licks his lips before rasping out, "Can I, um." He pauses. "Did you mean it, when you said I could stay here?" 

Marinette's at his side long before she can stop herself, examining him anxiously for signs of injury. She doesn't see anything obvious, but his black suit can and does hide injuries, and Chat himself always downplays them. "Of course I did- are you okay? Are you hurt? Come inside, I can help." She doesn't actually give him a chance to refuse, ducking under his arm and hauling on it to get him to move with her. Wide eyed and stammering, but not approaching real words, Chat lets her. 

She manhandles him through the skylight before he can react and sits him on the bed while she fetches her first aid kit (from beneath the chaise lounge- Tikki helpfully pushes it into her hands). "Tell me where you're hurt, kitty." Whoops. Lucky for her, he's in no state to notice that slip. 

"I'm not," he says softly and Marinette pauses, back up at the bed herself, hands hovering over the now open first aid kit.  He looks up at her from her bed, hands twisting into his sleeves. Green eyes glow out at her from the shadows beneath his hood. "Seriously, princess, I'm not hurt. I'm just-" He sighs. "Just having a bad night." He starts to get up, reaching for the skylight. "Sorry, I'm sorry about this, I shouldn't have come here. I'll go-" 

Marinette reaches past him and shuts the skylight. 

He stares at her. 

"Injuries aren't always physical," she tells him gently. "Stay." 

Chat continues to stare at her, frozen in place.  His eyes look a little glazed, actually- he might either be ill or starting to come down with something.  

Her heart hurts. "Hey, when I said you can ask for help, I meant it." 

He looks away rather than answer her, which is definitely a bad sign. 

"Chat Noir," she says patiently and waits for him to look back at her. "Hey, it's all right, okay? If you need to stay, then stay. And you don't have to tell me why unless you _want_ to." As badly as she wants to know, it does no one any good if she coerces it out of him. 

"Okay," he says. His voice is very small. 

What _happened_ between last night and this one? He hadn't been doing well on patrol, that was true, but how did he get this much worse this quickly?

Or had whatever had him so down in the first place finally become too much? 

"Wait here," Marinette says slowly, trying to calm her own worry long enough to figure out what she should do to make sure he's comfortable for the night. Because by now, she strongly suspects he isn't going home at night, and if that's the case she'll have to convince him to stay here. "Seriously, _wait here_ and don't go anywhere. I'll be right back." 

He only nods silently. 

Ignoring the faint chill that shivers down her back at that, Marinette ducks out of her room to fetch a plate of leftovers she'd intentionally saved for him earlier and to grab extra blankets from the linen closet. Luckily, between the bite in the air recently and how badly Marinette disliked the cold her parents won't see anything odd about her getting out some spare blankets. 

She returns to find Chat Noir sitting in the exact same spot, staring at the floor and looking miles away. 

Swallowing hard, she drops the blankets beside her desk chair and offers him the plate of food. "Hey, we had leftovers. Want some?" 

His eyes flash sideways at her. He looks startled. 

He really shouldn't. Not just because Chat should have heard her coming and normally would have, but because no one should look _startled_ when they were offered food, especially in a bakery.

"Uh, I shouldn't," Chat tries, before sagging at the look Marinette gives him. "Whoa, okay. All right." 

"No one refuses my father's food," Marinette informs him smugly, dropping into her desk chair and holding up one of the blankets.  "Sorry, I think it's too suspicious if I give you the bed, but no one's going to care about me grabbing the spare blankets."  She sets them down on the chaise lounge, apologizing mentally to Tikki.

"I don't want to put you out," Char Noir says, still far too quietly. 

"You're not," Marinette says, just as quietly. "I invited you in, Chat.  Please.  Let me help." 

He nods with that same disturbing slowness, then slides off her bed to land silently on the chaise lounge. Marinette hopes Tikki's well hidden. 

She sets the plate Chat set down aside. She can give it back when he's settled. 

She doesn't expect Chat to start burrowing into the blankets the way he does. She watches as he pushes and pulls at them, frowning, and holds back a giggle as he seems to get them right where he wants them with a sigh. 

He glances up at the snicker that sneaks through. 

"Sorry," she tells him, for once not meaning it at all. "It's just, you looked just like my uncle's cat for a moment there." 

He doesn't laugh along like she expected him to. Instead he looks away again and mutters something too low to hear before hunkering down and saying, barely audible, "Goodnight, princess." 

Marinette stares down at him without moving to give him back the food or to climb back up to her bed. 

This isn't the Chat Noir she knows and she still doesn't know what's going on with him. 

Eventually she does convince him to eat, although even then he only nibbles at the leftovers she'd saved for him before hunkering back into the nest he's made of the blankets. She can feel his eyes on her long after she's turned out the lights and climbed back up to the loft. 

"You sure you're okay?" she asks at last, knowing the answer, knowing he isn't going to tell her. 

"What if your parents hear you talking to me?" he asks instead of answering. 

Marinette rolls over, hugging her pillow. "I tell them that I'm playing a video game. I yell back at them all the time and it wouldn't be the first time I've stayed up to play. Or I'm on the phone with Alya- same thing, wouldn't be the first time." 

He blinks. "You've thought this through." 

"Of course I have," Marinette huffs. "I made you an offer, I intend to honor it." She frowns at him.  "I wouldn't have said it in the first place if I didn't mean it." 

He blinks and his eyes reappear lower- he's settling further into the blankets. She really hopes Tikki is comfortable where she is, because her poor kwami's stuck there now; even with whatever's wrong with him Chat Noir isn't going to miss a  kwami zipping past him at that range. "Thanks, again." 

"You're welcome," Marinette says softly. "Now get some sleep." She rolls back over to set an example. 

She rolls back to where she can see him five minutes later, unable to take it any longer. 

Her eyes have adjusted enough to make out the darker lump near buried in the pile of blankets. He's still moving around a lot but then he really never does stay still. 

Reassured, Marinette closes her eyes. 

For about ten minutes. She can still hear him rustling around, obviously still wide awake.

"Hey," she says at last, shaking herself out of her half-asleep state. "Is it alright if I put on a movie or something? It'll cover any noise and I fall asleep with the computer on often enough that no one will think anything of it." 

"Sure," he says, and even in the weak light from the windows she can see his tail flicking and his eyes flashing a little. 

She hesitates, then makes a decision and gets up to rummage through her DVDs. She knows what kind of media Chat Noir would like to watch. She's sure of it. 

She should probably at least try to downplay how sure of it she actually is. 

"I have, uh, Disney movies, a bunch of different versions of Zorro," and if he ever finds out _Ladybug_ likes _Zorro_ she's sure she'll never hear the end of it, "And... well, I actually have a lot of anime, you're gonna have to help me pick if that's what you wanna watch." 

Sure enough, both his ears flicker when she mentions anime. (That they don't when she mentions Zorro only makes her suspect he isn't familiar with Zorro.  She might be biased). "I'm not that picky, really. Any of it sounds good."

"Don't you lie to me, I saw your ears when I said anime," she teases him. 

Those same ears flicker flat when she says it, though. "I  mean, I'm imposing, right? You should pick." 

"You're a _guest_ ," Marinette says, but she brings over three different anime rather than ask him to narrow it down. "But all right. How about one of these?" 

He glances over all of them, but she sees his eyes catch on the third. 

"Fairy Tail?" she says, amused. "I wouldv'e guessed Boku no Hero Academia." She pauses, then adds, "Or Sailor Moon." 

The grin's a shadow of his usual one, but it's there. "Hey, Paris has its own heroes now. And I've seen Sailor Moon a whole lot of times." 

"Of course you have," she says, laughing, taking the DVDs back from him and setting the first two aside. She'll leave them out for another night (she's sure now that there will be another night). "You haven't seen Fairy Tail, then?" 

He shakes his head. "Never got around to it." 

"Ohhh, you're gonna like Happy." She taps the blue winged cat on the box art. 

He eyes it and the grin becomes a little more present, a little more real. "Bet he's got nothing on Luna." 

She laughs again. "Hey, Happy's got his own charm. Also, wings. Bet you wish you had wings," she teases. 

He snorts, crossing his arms on the blankets and leaning his head on them, eyes glinting at her. "Hey. I manage."

"Chat, you leap off buildings. I've seen you. Everyone has seen you." Of course, she does the same thing, but that isn't the point.  

"It doesn't count if you don't hit the ground," he defends himself. 

Still smiling, Marinette starts the DVD on her computer, checking first that she still has Ladyblog notifications active. At least that's not suspicious when she's friends with Alya. Besides, it'll probably help Chat to have them, too. She gets back in bed, but hangs off partway to watch along with Chat Noir. 

"Oh wow," he says around the second episode, laughing. "Are... is that the can can playing?" 

Marinette's smiling herself, hugging her pillow, glad to have finally gotten her partner to laugh again. "Oh, yeah, there's a lot of repurposed classical music in this. They use that one a _lot_."

"When people are _brawling_?" he asks. His tail is twitching again, but in a relaxed way. "Also, are these characters ever not brawling?" 

She shrugs and tries not to too obviously watch Chat Noir rather than the screen.  "Not really, or at least not often.  It's pretty fun to watch, though, it's like... good-natured sparring a lot of the time.  I actually didn't really plan to watch it in the first place, but Alya insisted and it turned out I like Lucy and later Erza a lot, so."

"Huh," Chat Noir says almost absently, but his ears are forward and his eyes are glued to the screen. He's burrowed even further into the pile of blankets by now. It's good to be able to look at her partner and know for a fact that he's safe and, if still not necessarily happy, content. 

It's not much longer before she notices he's begun to blink more and to open his eyes slower each time. His tail's mostly limp now and his ears are relaxed, making her think worriedly of Tikki's warnings, but that's hardly something she can bring up while they're watching anime in her bedroom. 

"Sorry," he says at last, yawning before glancing at her almost shyly. "I didn't mean to keep you up. I can go." 

She rolls her eyes, remembers at the last moment that he can see her just fine, then decides that that's okay. Maybe he needs her to tell him he's being ridiculous. "You can stay. How many times do you want me to tell you that you can stay?" 

"It's..." He blinks, then sighs deeply. "Thank you. If you're sure." 

"I"m _sure_ ," she says, trying hard not to get exasperated. Normally she'd understand; it has to be at least a little nerve-wracking to sleep transformed, with the number of times akuma have come for their miraculous, but by now she's positive he hasn't been going home. This has to be safer than anywhere else he'd slept, barring the times he'd been with her. 

...no wonder he hasn't been sleeping well. She wouldn't be. 

She kind of wants him to go to sleep for entirely selfish reasons, as well. One of them is simply that she'd feel better if she could see him getting some sleep somewhere safe.

Another is that by now she's pretty sure he has nowhere else to go and she really, really needs time to process that. She'd known he was suddenly around all the time, she'd even thought to herself that he couldn't possibly have been going home, but she hadn't stopped to think through the implications. 

He blinks at her a few more times, then settles in again with a sigh.  Marinette would absolutely be lying if she said it wasn't at least a little cute. Mostly, though, she's glad he's finally getting some sleep. She can hear it when his breathing finally goes deep and even. He's not purring, not tonight, but at least he's finally getting some halfway decent rest that doesn't require Ladybug's presence. Technically. That he knows of. 

This is going to be difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am definitely personally biased about zorro  
> i have also never actually seen sailor moon (i had to look up the cat's name), but adrien has definitely seen it plenty


	7. sanctorum

She expects Chat Noir to be gone in the morning, but he isn't- in fact, he's still sleeping like the dead, even when she gets up to get ready for school. 

When even her father yelling up to her doesn't rouse Chat Noir she makes the decision to let him sleep. 

"Tikki, give me a hand," she whispers and her kwami doesn't make any objections as they latch the trapdoor from inside before climbing down. Hopefully her parents won't have any reason to try the trapdoor, because Marinette's never tried to lock it before this; she and Tikki had added the lock one night in a fit of paranoia but they've never needed it. This way, though, no one can stumble onto Chat, and it isn't as though Marinette's worried about being able to get back in later; she's known how to break into her own room since she was six, and Alya had come up with three new ways at their last sleepover alone. With a skylight and as Ladybug it's even easier, though obviously with Chat staying here she doesn't want to take that route if she can help it.

If she's lucky she can convince him to really _stay_. Honestly, the stress of hiding him from her parents still has to be less than the stress of worrying about her partner all the time, especially when she's more sure by the minute that he's been sleeping on the streets somewhere.  It's the only thing that makes sense of his behavior, and it hurts to think that her best friend hasn't had anywhere safe to go. Besides, it isn't like she'll have to find an excuse to leave or someplace to hide from him in the event of an akuma attack- not when he'll already be leaving himself to go meet up with her. 

This is going to be confusing. 

Of course, this plan doesn't even begin to address the problem of his staying transformed too often and too long, but she's still working on a solution to that. 

School is blissfully uneventful, which is a good thing considering every moment she isn't worrying about Chat Noir and where he's been staying- where he's been _living_ \- until now she's worrying about Adrien.  She knows she's overreacting, there was an entire article explaining where he's gone, but she can't help herself.  It doesn't help that she still hasn't been able to find any news on a Gabriel photo shoot anywhere in America. It isn't just New York- she's taken to checking other cities as well, making her way slowly down a list of most to least likely. 

Marinette's entire lunch is taken up by checking in with everyone else who's trying to find a way to get in touch with Adrien, even Chloe (regretfully), but that's becoming usual for her. It's not just her, for that matter- Nino, Alya and Chloe are the most obvious about it, but their whole class has started to show concern.  It's definitely a consolation that she's far from the only one who thinks something seems shady. Marinette had been assuming it was only her own overactive imagination that made her worry, and to some extent it probably is, but she's no longer the only one.

"No, girl," Alya tells her regretfully, before tilting her head at Nino. "He hasn't even contacted Nino, and it's been nearly a week. This isn't like him at all."

"His dad must have taken his phone or he'd have dropped me something by now," Nino says glumly, picking at his sandwich. He'd suggested going to Marinette's for lunch and he was still sulking that she'd come up with some very hasty, honestly very flimsy reasons not to.  (There is not a health inspection today. She's quite sure he knows there isn't. He's been a better friend than she deserves by hardly ever questioning her terrible, terrible excuses).  "And no one's gotten any pings on the Ladyblog." 

"A week's not that long," Sabrina offers, but reluctantly, because for Adrien it kind of is. He can be surprisingly shy sometimes, and he doesn't always seem to know how to talk to people outside of class, but it definitely isn't like him to drop off the face of the earth like this- he enjoys being around other people his age too much. He'd been getting more and more outgoing by the day, anyway. 

Chloe huffs and tosses her hair back. "Maybe not for the rest of these peons, but for Adrikins to not talk to _moi?_ A week is ridiculous."

Marinette checks in with other classmates and even a few people in other classes throughout the rest of the day as well, but no one's heard anything. It's been long enough that she's getting fewer strange looks and more sympathetic ones when she asks.  Chloe is actively sulking, although to Marinette's surprise she notes real concern in the other girl's expression when Chloe actually turns back to ask her if she's _sure_ no one's heard from Adrien.  Even the fact that Chloe is honestly willing to ask Marinette that is telling.  Alya scours the Ladyblog again and Nino's asked around at Adrien's fencing class, to no results; Marinette didn't really expect otherwise but it makes her heart sink a little more every day. It's really not like Adrien to not find a way to contact at least Nino.  He must not have any computer access at all. 

She hopes he's okay. They all hope he's okay. She hopes, too, that he knows how hard they're all trying to contact him- she's not sure how he would find out, but Nino assures her that it would mean a lot to him. Marinette's finding out that for all she trips constantly, both verbally and physically, when Adrien is there she still prefers him to actually _be_ there. She's not stuttering and blushing as she joins the rest of her class in checking on him (because by now literally everyone thinks it's weird that he'd be completely out of touch for this long) but at this point she'd prefer to be because it would mean he was _here_ to be a stuttering mess _at_. 

"It isn't like we don't know where he is," Rose tries.  "There was an article about him leaving the country for a show, right? He's in America." 

"Not knowing where is isn't the problem," Nino says. "Although we totally don't, by the way, has anyone actually figured out where in America Gabriel is doing a photo shoot? It's that we don't know why he isn't in contact with anyone." 

"I mean, his dad does pull him for shoots without warning sometimes.  And the location might not be public knowledge until after it's over," Juleka points out, but it's half-hearted at best. 

Kim shrugs. "Yeah... but he _tells us_ about those. He'd at least be getting homework from Nino, right? Something just seems off this time." 

"And even if he _was_ just pulled away unexpectedly," Max puts in, "He'd statistically be happier if he could stay in touch with us.  You know he'd try to." 

But as determined as everyone is to contact Adrien, herself included (herself leading the charge, really), he's actually not Marinette's primary concern right now.  Normally he would be, of _course_ he would be, and she mentally apologizes to him profusely, but- her Chat is in trouble.  No matter how much she adores Adrien, her partner is always going to be her priority. 

As soon as school lets out she hurries home, snags a quick meal to eat upstairs with an apologetic smile at her mother and a hasty explanation about having a lot of schoolwork, and breaks back into her bedroom. 

Chat Noir's still there. 

Chat Noir's still _asleep_. 

Sure, she'd kept her friends from coming over for lunch just in case, but she hadn't really thought he'd still be where she'd left him. It's been nearly a day. 

"Tikki," Marinette whispers, blinking, forestalling her kwami's dive under the chaise lounge. Hovering just where she can dart into hiding in an instance, Tikki blinks back at her. "How long can we stay transformed?" 

"Not this long," Tikki says quietly. "Not under normal circumstances." 

Marinette closes her eyes for a long moment, then opens them to watch Chat Noir again. He's curled up, tangled in the blankets in nearly the same position as when she'd left.  He's neatly buried- his tail dangles out, and one hand, and she can just barely see his ruffled hair and one slowly flickering ear.  "He... _can_ change back, right?" 

"Yes," Tikki affirms immediately, startled. "The transformation itself can't become permanent, as far as we know." She hesitates, then adds softly, "It's the traits that transfer over that will." 

So much for Chat not staying transformed for too long. He hasn't changed back in a minimum of twelve hours, and when she goes back over all the recent Ladyblog sightings in her head, she realises it can't be the first time. "Do you think he knows?" 

"I don't know," Tikki says. "His kwami should have told him, but-" She cuts herself off and dives under the chaise lounge.

Chat is stirring. Less than a minute later he sits up, yawning, hair messier than ever. He looks up at her and freezes. 

"Hey sleeping beauty," she greets him, hoping quietly that if he heard anything he'll chalk it up to her talking to herself.  Also, she should probably start talking to herself, if she can only figure out a safe way to do so- otherwise he's bound to catch her talking to Tikki at some point. 

She knows she's still making plans like he's staying, but then, she knows she needs him to stay. 

Marinette moves further into the room and hands him the plate she'd  grabbed from the kitchen. "Got you some food." 

"Food?" he says, voice still thick with sleep. "How long have I been asleep?" 

Marinette takes a moment to lock the trapdoor again and quietly tip a desk chair over it, something she's very much not allowed to do but could pass off as being accidental (the chair, not the lock- she's allowed to use the lock.  Or she would be, if her parents knew she had one). Granted, she's usually exceptionally good about keeping the trapdoor clear, but she's still accident prone enough for it to be plausible and she wants that extra bit of protection.  If she's right Chat Noir hasn't had anywhere safe in days so she's determined to make her room as safe as possible for him.

As soon as she's done with that she takes a seat at her desk, pulling her backpack after her since it hadn't been entirely a lie that she had a lot of schoolwork. "You've been asleep all day, Chat Noir. Guess you needed it." 

"All _day?_ " he echoes, scrambling upright. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stay so long, I'll get out of here." 

Exasperated by his apparently abysmal level of self-care, Marinette levels a pencil at him. "Eat first." 

Chat blinks. Then blinks again. "Sorry, what?" 

"Ear first," she repeats. "If you need to go, fine, but eat first." She hesitates, then adds, "And come back when you're done with..." She almost says patrol, but that's not supposed to be common knowledge. Sure, they don't go out of their way to stay hidden, but it's going to be suspicious if she knows their schedule when Ladybug's tried hard to keep it unpredictable. "When you're done with whatever you need to go do."  

Poor Chat looks bewildered as he sits slowly back down, accepting the food this time. "You want me to come back?" 

"Yes," she tells him simply, hoping that such a plain answer will finally get through to him. 

No such luck. "Why would you want me to come back?" 

"You needed it," she reminds him. "If you still need it, or if you need someplace to go again, then yes. Come back." The way he's been acting on patrol recently, he'd _better_ come back, because he definitely needs it. 

"If you're sure," Chat says slowly, looking hesitant still, but that's as good as securing a yes from him and she knows it.

To her surprise, it's only a few minutes later when she hears him set down his plate and move up behind her. "Huh. That's wrong." 

Marinette scowls down at her book, suddenly feeling- well, only a little bit less charitable, really. He's still her best friend, whether he knows it or not, and he's still in some kind of trouble.  He's still probably _homeless,_ she isn't actually going to ignore him.  She's not that cold. "Excuse me, I haven't finished solving it yet." 

"Oh- no, I meant the equation. It's wrong." He reaches past her and traces one of the numbers. "It isn't solvable like this.  I think it's a misprint."

Marinette blinks, then blinks again. 

"I, uh... " Chat trails off. When she glances back over her shoulder at him, his hood is back and his ears are pressed flat against his head. "Sorry, I should let you work." 

"It's fine," she says automatically, mind working overtime. "I didn't know you liked maths." 

"Well, yeah." Chat's ears start to creep back up and Marinette feels tension she wasn't even aware of start to bleed out of her. "It's nice to know the answers won't, I dunno, change on you." 

She's thought before that Chat Noir's likely her age, but it's never occurred to her that maybe he's like Adrien and enjoys going to school. Honestly, if she'd thought about it at all she'd probably have thought he was the class clown. But if he is like Adrien? Not having been to class in more than a week must be killing him. 

Great, that's two of her friends who are likely upset about being pulled out of school. Then again, it isn't like Marinette actually wants to miss class herself; she just doesn't have a choice, more often than not. 

"I've gotta, you know, do it myself so I'm sure I know it," she finds herself saying. "But if you want to, you could do the assignment too, and we could check our answers against each other?" She trips over her own words a moment later in a way she never usually does with Chat. "I-I mean, if you want to! Only if you want to." 

"I'd like that," Chat says, voice gone quiet again. He doesn't actually meet her eyes, but his ears flicker towards the math textbook. "Honestly, I would. Thanks." 

"It's not a problem, Chat Noir," she says, just as quietly. "Here- pull up the other chair." 

He glances at where it's resting on the trapdoor, then looks back at her and raises both eyebrows. 

"Or not," she concedes, abandoning the desk altogether and gesturing towards the floor. "Or we could just sit on the floor." She flops down herself, rolling onto her stomach with the book out in front of her. She's glad Tikki's little hideaway beneath the chaise lounge is as well-hidden as she could make it- a necessity when her bedroom door opens _upwards_.  Luckily for Marinette a fashion designer abruptly deciding to add bedskirts to a chaise lounge isn't terribly suspicious.  

Chat Noir joins her, leaning over her shoulder to read and bracing himself with a hand on the floor. He's close enough that she can feel his tail lashing anxiously behind them. 

She doesn't tense- she's far too used to sharing her personal space with him to tense- but she isn't really sure what to do.  Chat Noir's always been so tactile that she suspects he might be touch-starved, and Ladybug would already be leaning back into him because it makes such a visible difference to him.  Marinette _wants_ to but she isn't supposed to know Chat that well. It's been hard enough to not act too comfortable around him; she keeps forgetting that Marinette has only met Chat Noir a few times, because she's so used to spending nearly all their free time together. 

Nearly all her free time, anyway. Judging by his recent patrol habits, Chat Noir suddenly has entirely too much free time. 

Marinette's completely comfortable letting him in her space- of course she is, it's _Chat_ , he's _always_ been welcome in her space- but it's going to be suspicious if she doesn't keep in mind that _he_ doesn't know that. 

Worse, he's anxious and upset and she hates seeing him like that. She has from the very start. 

Eventually, she settles for simply relaxing where she is and hoping to herself that _he_ forgets they don't (technically) know each other that well. 

To her relief, it works. Almost immediately Chat Noir moves to lie down next to her, but he stays so close she can feel the warm line of him all along her side.  If it were almost anyone else (although Alya and Adrien both come to mind) she might push them away, but he's so tense, like he wants to move even closer but knows he shouldn't, that she can't possibly bring herself to do it. 

Bracing herself against Tikki's silent disapproval (Marinette may not be able to see her kwami but she _knows_ ), Marinette tries to be subtle as she very slowly leans back into Chat Noir. She knows she's made the right decision when the tension finally starts to bleed out of his frame. His ears finally flicker fully back upright as he studies her textbook, and his tail stops lashing quite so much. 

She's never been entirely certain how much control he has over his ears and tail.  He'd said next to none, but then he'd corrected himself in the next breath and said he wasn't sure himself, since he has no problem taking his belt off and using it during akuma attacks but he definitely doesn't control it otherwise. They know his ears are functional, rivets aside.  But... she definitely didn't notice his tail or ears being quite this expressive before. Tikki's right, his body language is changing. 

Marinette wonders, a little uneasily, if that means her body language is going to change too. They're so in tune with each other's movement that it's not possible so much as it is _likely_ she'll start adjusting the way she moves to better balance him.  If she's not careful, the way they're always aware of each other is going to carry over to her civilian identity and out her before she has a chance to slip up. 

None of that, though, is enough to make her move away. 

 

* * *

 

It's a little surreal, sitting quietly in Marinette's room and working on homework as Chat Noir. 

It's a _lot_ unwise- he's not listening to Plagg at all, aside from coming to Marinette's in the first place; he's been Chat for coming up on a full day now, but even with Plagg's warnings about permanent side effects ringing in his ears Adrien can't make himself regret it. He's still kind of on edge, but even so he's more relaxed than he has been without Ladybug's direct presence in a week. Longer. Now that he thinks about it, his behavior had been off even before he'd actually run away.

He's missed- he's not even sure what he misses. Not the schoolwork, not really; he'd done schoolwork even locked in his home and it had never truly been enjoyable there. But. It's different, with Marinette here. Her room isn't cold and echoing like his father's house. Honestly, Marinette's room is the polar opposite of his father's house; cramped and crowded and warm. 

And he's not alone. Laying side by side on Marinette's floor to share the book, he can't possibly forget that he's not alone, especially when she lets him lean into her. (She doesn't have to do that and he kind of feels guilty, but also too grateful to stop).  

Marinette hums as she works, which is oddly endearing. At first it's only improvised little tunes, things she doesn't seem aware she's humming; then it's bits and pieces of different Jagged Stone songs.  Sometimes she switches into the songs from Fairy Tail, both the actual soundtrack and the reprised classical music. After a while, Chat catches himself joining in, filling in the rest of the songs. 

He tries to stop himself at first, but from the amused sidelong glance she gives him, Marinette doesn't seem like she minds. 

"Mind if I turn on the TV?" she asks after a while, pushing away from the floor and stretching a little. Her hand brushes the tip of one of his ears and he fights not to lean into it. "I like having it on for background noise. And, well," her hand brushes his ear again, deliberately this time. "You need to know if there's an akuma, right?" 

"Uh," he says, this time failing to keep from leaning into her touch. "I mean, I'm sure Ladybug would call me. If she really needs me." His eyes are falling closed again, so he misses Marinette's expression at that. 

"Oh- of course she needs you, ki- Chat Noir," Marinette says softly, though she takes her hand away. "She relies on you. Anyone could see that." 

He wishes she hadn't stopped touching him. "It's the other way around, really." 

"Chat Noir," she says, and her hands are back on him, on both his shoulders as she hauls him around to face her. Startled, he lets her. "Chat, you are _needed_.  Come on, have you seen some of the fights Alya's recorded? Ladybug needs you." 

He tries to pull away, stunned by the raw conviction in her voice, but Marinette doesn't just hold on tight- she pulls him into a hug and repeats herself. "Ladybug needs you." 

"Okay," he says, voice small. He clears his throat. "Um. I don't mind if you turn on the news." 

"All right," she says, and instead of getting up to go to the desk like he expects she reaches around him to grab her tablet and pull up a news app.

She doesn't let go of him. 

"You don't have to-" he starts, and Marinette's arms tighten. 

"Someone told me once you shouldn't end a hug until the person you're hugging is ready for you to end it," she says softly. He hears her swallow. "And Chat, you're moving closer." 

He has been. He hadn't realised. 

But.. he doesn't really want her to let go, either. 

He stays where he is as the news app comes to life, trying his hardest not to burrow further into Marinette's arms. 

The newscaster's voice comes on in the background and Chat tenses, then relaxes when he doesn't hear anything about an akuma attack. It's just news. It's just a news segment about Jagged Stone's latest album. There's nothing about akuma attacks at all. 

He's not sure why he expected there to be. 

Maybe because right now, he's comfortable; he doesn't _want_ to move out of Marinette's hug, but he can't expect it to last. He can't expect _this_ to last. Marinette has a life outside of him. 

And nothing he enjoys ever lasts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did anyone else ever have teachers who gave them deliberately unsolvable problems, because I get why they did it but it doesn't seem very common  
> or nice


	8. Comfort

Marinette really wishes she could talk to Tikki right now. She so badly wants to talk to someone about what's going on, and Tikki is naturally her first choice. Marinette never really thinks about how much she's come to rely on her kwami until circumstances mean that she can't. 

Chat Noir's been here for nearly a day and he's given no indication that anyone is missing him. She knows he will shortly- because they have patrol, and Ladybug is definitely going to miss him, and- she's going to have to figure out how to prove that to him, actually, since she'd thought she'd made it clear and she can't exactly admit how she knows she hasn't. Right now, though, she can't stop feeling cold at the thought that maybe there's no one else _to_ miss him. That maybe that's why he's been clingier than usual with Ladybug recently. She's so glad that she hadn't teased him about that, that she hadn't made a big deal out of it; it's clearer by the moment how much he needs it. How much he needs her. She doesn't feel very good about that; Chat Noir should have more people in his life that he can turn to than just Ladybug, and yet increasingly she suspects that he doesn't have anyone else. 

Ladybug had noticed the first changes in him weeks ago and they've only gotten worse.  After spending all day thinking about how he's been acting recently (except for the time she'd spent worrying about Adrien instead) Marinette's certain by now that Chat Noir's been sleeping on the streets, when he's sleeping at all; but for how long? She still doesn't know what had happened in the first place. She always knew something was going on in his home life but she's not sure how it got so much worse, so quickly. 

He still won't tell Ladybug about it. He doesn't even think Ladybug needs him, even as it's obvious that he needs her. How can he think that? How can she make him _stop_ thinking that? Yet again, Marinette really wishes she had Tikki available to bounce thoughts and ideas off of. 

Marinette really wishes he'd trusted her enough to tell her. It's all too real a concern that he's too scared to tell her, and she hates that idea. She doesn't like seeing her partner scared. She doesn't like to see her partner as hurt as he obviously has been, either. 

Surely Chat Noir's kwami is helping him. She can't ask as Marinette, though, and as Ladybug she's not supposed to know he isn't going home at night- well. She thinks of Shelter's power. He's not going to a house, anyway. He doesn't know he's still found his home. 

That's very sweet, but deeply unsettling at the same time. 

She does have to let go of him and go back to doing homework eventually, though.  If she deliberately stays closer to Chat Noir than she had been before, well, that's no one's business but theirs. 

To her surprise, Chat is visibly happier once they've been working quietly on math problems for a while. He's focused in a way she isn't used to seeing outside of akuma attacks- even on patrol, which she knows he takes seriously, Chat's always been easily distracted. It's part of who he is. 

"Hey," she says at last, loathe to break their comfortable silence, but knowing they'll both have to leave soon.  "Don't take this the wrong way because you can hang out as long as you want, but didn't you have somewhere you needed to be?" 

He startles a little, then rubs the back of his head sheepishly. "Uh... yeah. Duty calls, you know?" He's smiling at her, but it fades a little as he glances down and says quietly, "Is it... would it be all right if I came back here after? I, uh, I understand if it isn't." 

"It's fine, Chat Noir," she says, smiling back at him and wincing internally because she's going to have to hustle after patrol to beat him back here. All the same, there was never any chance of her saying no to him.

Just to be cautious, they wait a good ten minutes after he leaves before Tikki darts out to transform her. Chat Noir's been early so often recently that it won't be strange if they don't arrive at the same time for patrol. 

Naturally, he's waiting when she arrives. They change the meeting place every few patrols for safety's sake- Ladybug would have expected that she'd be the more cautious one, but Chat Noir had actually been the one to suggest that. This time it's not a landmark, just a poorly lit roof in a business area, but Chat looks more uneasy than she'd expected based on about half an hour ago. 

"Hey kitty," she greets him, silently relieved that she can finally drop the pretense that it isn't her best friend she's spending time with. 

"Hey LB," he says, smiling and propping his baton across his shoulders as he walks towards her. His smile doesn't quite reach his eyes, though, and his ears are twitching again. She's pretty sure she catches him darting a glance over the roof but she decides not to press him on it. "Where to?" 

She's been thinking about it the whole time they worked on math homework, so she says, "Wanna go spar?" 

He blinks. "Really? We haven't done that in... since we were starting out." 

Ladybug shrugs.  "I know, but... It was kind of fun. I miss doing it." That's not a lie- something about throwing themselves around Paris, knowing the other is always there to catch them, will always be satisfying, but Chat Noir is the only opponent she can go all-out against short of an actual akuma. Sparring is satisfying in the way that absolutely nailing a design is satisfying. The fact that just like the math homework it's an activity where Chat can turn the restless part of his brain off for a few hours and just focus on what they're doing is a minor detail. 

"Okay," Chat says, smile starting to creep into his eyes again as he sweeps an exaggerated bow. "Then follow me, m'lady, I know the perfect place." 

Rather than tease him about that, she bows back, making sure to exaggerate it just slightly more than he had. "Lead the way then, minou." 

He's fully relaxing into their easy back and forth now, immediately taking his turn to bow so low he nearly loses his balance. "Of course, m'ladybug." 

"That was barely different," Ladybug says, laughing, but this time he turns to dive off the building onto the next roof and she swings after him. 

She immediately notices the way he's moving and her heart sinks. 

Chat's always switched easily into running on all fours, she knows it's the most comfortable way for him to run and he's fastest that way but- she can't articulate how, but the way he's running now seems even more feline than usual. Maybe it's the way his legs bunch under him for every leap- but she's not sure if that's different or if she's just more aware of it now. Maybe there's more than that. 

When she sees him extend his claws to grab a slightly higher ledge and scramble up rather than simply jump, she knows she's not imagining things. It's been over a day now- she hopes that he stopped to detransform and feed his kwami before coming to meet her, but she doubts he'd have risked not being able to change back in time for patrol. 

She's not proud of herself for it but Ladybug's close to wishing for an akuma just so that Chat Noir _has_ to change back for a while. 

"Ta-da," he says at last, dropping off a street light to land in a crouch front of an abandoned- looking warehouse, balanced on the balls of his feet- for a moment, before he drops further into a far more feline crouch, tail curled around his legs.  "No one's been here in ages, plenty of space inside to spar." 

Ladybug doesn't want to ask him how he knows that. 

"Come on, kitty," she says instead, sliding past him and tapping on the door. "How're we getting in here?" 

"You wound me!" He mimes being stabbed, falling over and springing back to his feet. "Cat burglary is a specialty, LB!" 

She raises an eyebrow. "Are you sure you ought to be spreading that around, kitten? We are supposed to be role models." 

He grins as he crouches and does, in fact, pull a bobby pin from his pocket to start picking the lock.  (It's wildly unfair that his suit has pockets, rarely as he uses them). "It's good to have hobbies." 

"I worry about you," she tells him, more seriously than she means to, before crouching beside him. "It's only fair you share your knowledge with your partner, just in case." 

"Are you asking me to teach you breaking and entering?" he counters, grinning, ears perked again. 

"For the sake of the city," she says mock-solemnly, pressing a hand to her heart. "You never know when there could be a lock-picking akuma." 

He snorts as the door snicks open. "Honestly, that would be so far from the weirdest thing we've faced." 

"Fair enough," she agrees, slipping into the warehouse behind him.  It's not completely dark- moonlight shines in through the more dilapidated parts of the roof- but it's large and empty and full of shadows. Her footsteps echo in the empty space. His don't- he's always been quieter than her (well, in one way), but now his footfalls are entirely silent, giving her yet another twinge of worry. "Ready for me to kick your butt?" 

"Someone's confident," he says, grinning at her, before suddenly reversing on his heels, dropping down to all fours and bounding away into the darkness. 

"Hey!" she shouts, laughing. "No fair, you've got night vision!" 

"All's fair in love and war, Bugaboo!" comes echoing from the darkest corner of the warehouse. Before he's done saying it Ladybug's thrown her yo-yo after his voice, but he's long gone and it only bounces off a wall. 

"Missed me, missed me, my Lady!" 

"Chat Noir, are you in the ceiling!" Ladybug shouts, incredulous, because she only saw him for a second but Chat Noir's definitely headed for the high ground. 

"All's fair!" he shouts again, and she throws her yo-yo again and just barely misses his tail as it whips out of sight.  
  
She narrows her eyes. "Oh, two can play at that game, _chaton_." She doesn't recall her bandalore, letting it wrap around an exposed beam instead and then yanking herself after it. "You're good- but I'm better!" 

Of course, that's hardly accurate; she's beaten Chat Noir before but only when he'd been affected by an akuma. They have never (and will never) genuinely fought one another, and in sparring they always come out even. This time's no exception but it still has a benefit she hadn't thought of. 

Even sparring, he's moving differently, and she wasn't wrong before- she adjusts to it automatically, without consciously considering what she's doing. 

Which means Ladybug has a new consideration. 

If Chat Noir's starting to act more feline, is she going to as well? 

She'd thought before that this would affect her too (beyond the obvious worry for her partner), but she clearly hadn't thought about it enough. After all, she doesn't have cat themed powers any more than he has ladybug ones, so she wouldn't have ever thought of it as a possibility, but they're not really individual heroes, are they? They're more than a team- they're two halves of a whole.  They might be able to fight on their own, but given a choice, they'll always find each other. 

Anything that affects Chat Noir affects Ladybug as well. 

Complementing him isn't a conscious choice, it's who she _is._ She'd better find a way to have this conversation. 

He's having fun, though, and because of that she can't bring herself to cut their sparring short. 

It might be dark, but movement still catches her eye as he leaps to another beam.  The fact that he's always been incapable of staying still works in her favor. She aims for the beam just in front of him and slingshots up, but he's moving faster than she'd calculated and she misses him by inches. 

"Nearly, my Lady," he calls back, before leaping away into the darkness again. 

"Game's not over yet, chaton," she yells, aiming for the next beam. This time she swings up into a high arc, then lets herself fall back the way she'd come. 

Like she'd predicted, he's back on the beam they've come from- she snatches at his tail as she flies past, but he whips it out of her grasp at the last moment and her own momentum slings her past him as he darts off. He doesn't yell back this time, which puts her at a disadvantage- if there's one thing his recent behavior has improved it's his stealth. 

She yanks herself back to the beam and balances there, listening, straining to hear Chat Noir, but that's really more his trick than hers. Minutes tick by as she scans the darkness for movement, for a deeper darkness, for any sign of her partner. Finally she sees a shift in the shadows, a possible flick of an ear, the barest twitch of his tail. She moves closer, but slowly, meandering, not willing to take a straightforward path when she knows he can see her just fine. 

She gets to the beam just beside him before she senses him shifting his weight, preparing to jump.

She dives for the beam ahead of him just before he jumps and they collide in midair. 

"Did you miss me?" Chat Noir purrs as they drop to the floor. 

Ladybug groans, pushing him away so that they both sprawl on the ground.  "The problem here is that I didn't."

"It's my magnetic personality." He stretches and crosses his arms beneath his head, closing his eyes and flopping limply.  "Are we done?" 

"Well, no, technically," Ladybug says dryly. "That wasn't a spar, that was a very brief game of chase." She pauses. "Which I won." 

He snorts. "You did not." 

She reaches out and gently shoves his side. Chat Noir rolls with it and goes sprawling on his stomach. "Did too." 

"Did not," he says, not bothering to get back up. "That was a tie. At best." 

"I caught you," she says, sitting up and looking down at him. 

"We both went crashing to the floor. Pretty sure that doesn't count." He doesn't move. 

Ladybug sighs and reaches over to ruffle his hair. He lets out a contented sigh that trails neatly into a purr, ears flicking against her hand as he presses into her touch. "I know your weak spots." 

"No fair," he mumbles, but even as he says it he tilts his head further into her hands.

"All's fair, kitten," she reminds him. 

He tilts his head back to blink at her, once, very slowly. 

Before they can continue, his ears spring upright and he curses. 

"What?" she says, instantly alert. 

"Screaming," he says grimly, scrambling to his feet and offering her a hand. "Akuma." 

"Of course," Ladybug groans, accepting his hand off and brushing herself  off, and inwardly kicking herself for putting off talking to him. They won't have a chance after the akuma. 

She feels a shiver of fear down her spine. Chat Noir's going to have to change back after the fight. She's not sure when she'll see him again; he can hardly come to her room if he's detransformed, and she doesn't know what effect being Chat Noir for so long might have on his kwami. Tikki said he shouldn't even be able to _do_ this normally, for all Marinette knows her partner won't be able to transform for a while after the fight. 

She should have brought up her concerns at the beginning of the night. 

She'd wanted so badly to cheer him up again, though, and she still can't really bring herself to regret that.


	9. Fight or Flight

 

They arrive together on the scene and she hears Chat Noir groan. 

"It's another retail worker," he says glumly. 

Ladybug sighs.  "That's the fifth time this month. You'd think people would be nicer to retail workers when they _know_ how often this happens."  

"You would think," Chat Noir mutters. "Clearly you would be wrong, but you would think."

"And this is with people doing so much better than they did at the beginning. The holidays are going to suck." Is she imagining it, or does Chat Noir flinch at that? If his family situation had been bad even before this, and there have always been hints that it was, it's possible the holidays were already a sore spot.

"What do you think it was this time?" Chat Noir asks, ears flicking towards the akuma. It's a man, presumably, although with an akuma it can sometimes be hard to tell. "Returns? Customer service?" 

"Shoplifters," Ladybug suggests.

"I am not the complaints department!" the akuma roars. "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine!" 

Chat Noir sighs. "Or just plain people being mean again." 

"Do we bet on it being Chloe?" Ladybug says dryly. 

"In a grocery store?" 

"Good point."  Ladybug studies the akuma from a distance, not willing to get in close until they have some idea of his abilities. 

Chat's ears flicker again and he scowls. "M'lady, I think he's sound-dampening." 

"Oh, not again," Ladybug says. They've already had some evidence that they can't always use their powers if they can't say the words, and while they can certainly _manage_ without Cataclysm if they have to the same can't be said for Lucky Charm. 

"You can say that again," Chat sighs. They keep watching for a moment in silence as the akuma walks down the street, throwing a sound-dampening barrier around as it goes. The man's still in a bright orange vest but his akuma outfit is actually surprisingly understated- except for the minor hoard of buttons and employee nametags on said vest. 

"The akuma's probably in one of those, isn't it," Ladybug says tiredly. 

Chat Noir sighs again. "Oh, it definitely is." 

They still don't move. 

"I really did want to spar tonight," Ladybug says. 

"I really think these retail guys kinda have a point," Chat Noir says, shrugging and scratching behind one ear. 

It's Ladybug's turn to sigh.  "Too bad, kitty. We can't let him get off steam like this; we're gonna have to go defeat him." 

"I know," he says, and jumps off the building before she can stop him. 

She watches, horrified, as he misses his target and smacks into a building. Apparently the past night and day haven't been enough to bring him entirely back up to his usual shape. Now she wonders if he'd missed any jumps in the warehouse when she couldn't see him.

"I'm okay," Chat Noir groans, waving faintly. "I'll _cat_ ch up." 

She ignores that to drop down next to him and offer him a hand up.  "We fight together, mon minou, you know that." 

He takes her hand and brushes himself off when they're upright. (Mostly upright, but she doubts his immediate crouch is a conscious decision). "Of course, m'lady, but I don't want to be a purrden."

Ladybug rolls her eyes and readies her bandalore, this time making sure to get a good grip on Chat Noir first. "Never, Chat Noir. Let's go." 

She shortly wishes there was a way to hang onto him for the entire fight. 

It's not just the missed jump, though that was hardly an auspicious start; he misses more than one jump.  He runs into a glass door someone left open. It's not as bad as it could be- the missed jumps aren't consecutive, she didn't see the door either, and it isn't like they aren't still hyperaware of each other enough for her to compensate; but it is enough that she really doesn't want this battle to drag on any longer than it has to. 

She uses her Lucky Charm while Chat Noir races in literal circles around the akuma, running on all fours and bouncing off buildings as he dodges and distracts. He hasn't been hit yet, but at that range it's only a matter of time. 

The Lucky Charm drops a laser pointer into her hands. She blinks at it. 

The laser pointer flashes red, then a specific nametag low on the akuma's vest, then all of Chat Noir. 

"Oh for..." She blinks at it again, then resigns herself and clicks it on, aiming just ahead of her partner.

Immediately, Chat Noir zeroes in on it. Clearly pouncing on the light isn't a conscious decision going by the hurt look he gives her a moment later. 

"Sorry, Chat Noir," she shouts, holding it up to show him it's the Lucky Charm. 

She can't hear it when he groans, which is another reason to end this quickly. She hadn't even seen which attack had landed on him, which makes her fervently hope he isn't already hiding injuries. (Is that a cat thing, or a Chat Noir thing? Or is it both?)  
  
She aims the laser pointer at the correct nametag and grins savagely as Chat Noir shreds it on command and the black butterfly flaps free. Lucky Charms are usually nowhere near this straightforward; she gets the feeling that it's compensating for how under the weather Chat's been, which has the kind of interesting implications she's going to obsess over later. 

Ladybug also kind of wants to keep playing with the laser pointer, because there's something fantastic about watching Chat go pouncing after it, but she's trying her hardest to ignore those thoughts because they are bad thoughts. They are terrible thoughts and she's not going to entertain them a moment longer. 

She definitely doesn't use her Miraculous Cure as early as she could have. 

She's definitely going to remember his reaction to that laser pointer for later, too.

Chat Noir has reassuring the dazed retail worker in hand (she'd never even gotten the man's akuma name), so Marinette takes off for home before she can run out of time- and before her cat can beat her there. He'd never used his Cataclysm and she's not at all convinced he'll go do the smart thing and recharge. 

There's something else that occurs to her as she swings back that makes her falter and nearly misstep (not a small thing when you swing from buildings), but she needs to think about it more. She needs to think about it a lot more. 

She's shortly entirely certain that Chat Noir never detransformed at all because she beats him to her house by bare minutes. Luckily, sort of, Tikki dove under the chaise lounge nearly as soon as Marinette had detransformed- lucky because that means she isn't caught, but not the best because wow does Marinette already miss talking to her kwami more than she thought possible. Ladybug's not likely to pull a Chat Noir and stay transformed for, apparently, _days at a time_ anytime soon if only because she'd miss Tikki too badly.

As it is, by the time the faint tapping of claws sounds at the skylight, Marinette's brushed her teeth and changed into her pajamas already and has a sketchbook out as a plausible reason to still be awake. It's not that late- the akuma had cut patrol pretty short- but she'd had that plan in place already, back when she had expected to be out most of the night. 

"It's unlocked," she calls up softly, though a moment later the thought from before strikes her and makes her consider she probably didn't have to be too quiet. Still, it'll have to wait for tomorrow night. 

Chat Noir thumps quietly through the skylight, bypassing her ladder entirely to land on her floor in a crouch. 

"Hey kitty," Marinette greets, setting her sketchbook aside to lean way out of the bed. "You couldn't resist the call of someone else's homework?" 

He straightens slightly with a grin. "You've caught me, Princess. I'm only using you for your maths homework."

"I knew it," she says simply, getting up to slide down her ladder. She hits the floor much harder than he had and almost stumbles, but rights herself at the last minute. 

If she's right about sharing cat traits, maybe she'll luck into some gracefulness soon. 

She winces even as she thinks that; for her partner's sake, she doesn't _want_ to reach the point where they're both picking up feline tendencies.  She doesn't even know yet if that's possible. She hasn't had a chance to ask Tikki about it, and she can hardly ask Chat Noir now; she's not even supposed to know that he _should_ be changing back. 

"Hey, Princess," he says, and she glances up at him. 

He isn't looking back at her- his hood's back but his ears are pressed flat, and he's twisting his tail in his hands. He looks like he does when he has something he wants to ask her, but he isn't sure about how it's going to be received. She's been trying to get him to worry about that less, but she hadn't known it applied to people other than Ladybug. If he's doing it with Marinette too it's possible it's just something he _does_.  

He's already stressed out again. Maybe the warehouse had helped, but if it had it seems like the akuma undid any good she'd managed.

"What is it?" she asks Chat Noir quietly, straightening up to be on eye level. 

"Uh," he starts, and then sighs and drops his tail, glancing at her again. "Is there any way- listen, can I use your shower?" He reddens a little under the mask. "I, uh, haven't been-" He stops talking, staring at the floor. 

Marinette's heart beats harder. Oh. Even now, he doesn't want to admit out loud that he has nowhere to go. Her poor kitty. "Of course you can, I'll show you where it is." She steps around him to the trapdoor. 

He hesitates. "What if your parents see us?" 

"Then I tell them one of Paris' heroes needed to use our bathroom real quick," she replies simply. "They aren't going to mind, Chat Noir." 

"Oh. All right, if you're sure about that," he says, oddly shyly. "Um, let me get something first?" At her nod, he darts back up out the skylight, returning moments later with a backpack. He doesn't meet her eyes as he hefts it up to take downstairs with him.

She's not going to say anything about it- he looks nervous enough about her seeing it. She unlatches the trapdoor for him to follow her down.

Marinette was serious, she doesn't think this is something her parents will object to, but she's still glad to find that they're asleep. That's a conversation she's not yet mentally prepared to have. "It's just through here, I- huh. I can get you clean clothes, but do you need them?" 

He glances down at his costume with a wry smile. "Not really, no." 

Marinette hesitates, but it would be more suspicious if she didn't ask. "Want me to wash your hoodie?" 

"Ah," he fidgets with the sleeves. "I guess? Will it- will it take long?" 

Should she be concerned that he doesn't know how long washing clothes takes? "Not very, but it'll definitely take longer to wash it than it will for you to shower." 

"Maybe not, then," he says quietly. "I'd rather have it with me."

"Okay," she says, deciding not to push him on this. "Whenever you're done you can just meet me back in my room." 

"Okay," he says, and shuts the door.

He doesn't take long- she'd actually hoped he'd take a little longer, since she'd assumed he'd have to detransform to shower, and she'd hoped he'd take the chance to talk to his kwami. Maybe he hadn't detransformed. She's certainly showered at the beach with her swimsuit on before, after all, and they know the suits are waterproof; maybe he'd just showered as Chat Noir. 

But she can hardly ask, and it' s not long before he's back and latching the trapdoor behind himself, glancing around for somewhere to put his backpack.  

Marinette waves him to the chaise lounge and the pile of blankets that's still there. "Do you wanna keep watching Fairy Tail, or is this more of a straight to sleep kind of night?" He'd slept most of the day. They'd just been through a fight, if a brief one; even brief fights are typically pretty draining. She's not sure how tired or not he's likely to be, but she knows _she_ needs to sleep. 

Chat Noir hesitates for a second, then sighs. His ears drop flat as he says, "I should probably just get some sleep." 

"Okay," Marinette says cautiously. "Are you- you can stay up, if you'd rather. I'd better get some sleep myself, but you can use my computer, if you want. I don't mind." She doesn't mind now that she's cleaned up the desktop, anyway. Sure, he might be kind of a brat about being on her desktop background, but if that's something that will make him brighten up a little she doesn't mind. 

"Only if you're sure," he says, quiet again. 

"I'm sure, Chat Noir," she says gently. "I'm going to bed, but I've slept through worse than just having you  here. I have sleepovers with my friend Alya, after all. She's usually up half the night updating the Ladyblog."

"I'll think about it," he says, sinking down onto the chaise lounge. "If I can't sleep." 

Marinette nods and retreats back up the ladder to bed, leaving the light on for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter has some of Adrien's point of view for this part as well, but this was getting a bit long


	10. restless

He should go back to his roof. He should go talk to Plagg. He misses Plagg already, anyway, he doesn't think he's gone this long without talking to his kwami since he first became Chat Noir. Adrien likes having Plagg around- Plagg fills a hole in his life he hadn't been fully aware of until it was gone. Adrien hadn't been quite as lonely before his mother left, but even when she'd been there, it wasn't as though she'd been particularly interested in letting him get out and meet people either.  She'd always been less restrictive than his father but that hadn't ended up mattering much, because they'd argue about it sometimes and maybe Adrien would find something new in his room, like his climbing wall or his video games, but he wouldn't be allowed outside more. He thinks she probably argued more with his father than what he actually heard- he takes after her, she can't have been terribly happy about being cooped up all the time, herself.

Maybe that's why she vanished before he did. It would be like his father not to acknowledge the reasons for what they are.

The climbing wall is only for one person and he's pretty sure those games were special ordered- when he looks them up himself, curious, he only ever sees them for sale as two-player versions. He doesn't know the words for how exactly he feels about that, but it's not... great.

It feels strange, even now, though, to think about his mother having been at all involved in that decision- those decisions. His mother had never been stifling the way his father still is. He thinks.

It's getting harder to remember, what she was like. He takes after her; even if he didn't recall that himself, even if he didn't still have pictures, his father likes to remind him that he takes after his mother.

Adrien kind of wishes he would stop, but at the same time, some part of him will always sit up, eager to hear more, whenever he hears that. His dad so rarely mentions his mother now, even though the photos and paintings are everywhere. Adrien's glad to hear he takes after his mom- he always was closer to her.

But often, when his dad says that, he doesn't mean it as a compliment.

(Adrien can't count the times he's heard 'you're too sensitive').

(Adrien wants to know what his mom would think of Chat Noir, but he's afraid she'd disapprove).

His mother had arranged playdates with Chloe, so that he'd have a friend, but that hadn't been enough. He'd been so grateful to have anyone at all that he could call a friend that he'd never been able to bring himself to tell her that it wasn't enough. (She'd tried). And- Chloe is... is Chloe, besides. She hadn't been outright cruel to him, the way he's learned by now she is with everyone else, but she had always insisted on having her way about everything.  He hadn't even realised she was doing it for the longest time.  He hadn't really realised it wasn't normal until he'd made friends with Nino.

If he wanted Chloe to stay his friend- and when he had no one else, he _did_ \- it was on her terms; that they played games she wanted to play, watched movies she wanted to watch. What Adrien wanted didn't matter. She might pretend that it did, but the way she reacted to even tentative disagreement said otherwise.

What Adrien wanted already didn't matter to his father. It did to his mother, but his mother is gone. Plagg was the one who encouraged Adrien to do what he wanted to do- Plagg was his first friend who didn't want Adrien to play a part for him. Chat Noir isn't playing a part. Chat Noir is who Adrien _is_ , without all the demands, without the restrictions and constraints. Chat Noir is who he's always longed to be.

Chat Noir should be doing anything but what he does, which is to go nearly straight back to Marinette's. He swings by his rooftop long enough to grab his backpack (he'd been so worried earlier that Ladybug would investigate their meeting place further and see the signs of habitation), but he goes to Marinette's as soon as he has it. He leaves it on the balcony, wedged under the lounge chair. After all, while Marinette definitely knows already that he's not going home at night, she doesn't need to know that it's because he _can't._

"Sorry Plagg," Chat Noir mutters as he heads for Marinette's skylight. She _had_   said he could come back... well, he can always leave again if she didn't truly mean it. Marinette wouldn't have said that if she didn't mean it, though, he's pretty sure.

At least she's one of the least likely people he can  think of to try and trap him anywhere.  Marinette's worked with Chat Noir before, and she did so brilliantly.  He doesn't have to worry about his ring while he's asleep, or about her asking questions about his identity. He probably wouldn't take this risk with, say, Alya, but Marinette he trusts to let him leave on his own terms, without any kind of interrogation or any expectation of repayment. (He would still repay her if he only knew how).

He's so grateful that she hasn't pushed him for an explanation. He wishes now that he'd gotten to know his shy classmate better as Adrien when he'd still had the chance. He still doesn't know her very well, but he knows that she's kind enough to offer him a place to stay when she's only met Chat Noir that handful of times, and observant enough to know when _he_ needs to know that he's not alone. She's worried for him. She's worried both for him as Adrien, and for him as Chat Noir. He's torn- it's terrible that he's made her worry, but it's also wonderful to know that someone _is_ worried, that someone is looking for him. His father still isn't, as far as he can tell. Somehow he'd always thought, deep down, that his father would come after him if he ever got brave enough to run away. That his father would care.

In spite of everything, it hurts to learn he doesn't.

When Marinette asks him what he wants to do, he hesitates. He can't not hesitate. It's strange- Nino asks him what he wants to do all the time, and he's never honestly thought his classmates would be different, but Adrien can't quite seem to get used to being offered the choice. Sometimes, when they were younger, Chloe had liked to offer him what looked like a choice at first glance, but rarely was it a real one; it nearly always proved to be her pressuring him to agree with her, or risk their friendship otherwise.

That had worked more often than he's comfortable admitting.

Chat Noir tries to hide his relief at getting to take a shower but he doesn't think he entirely succeeds. Hiding his backpack turns out to have been pointless, too, since he needs it now. Once he's actually shut the bathroom door behind himself, he hesitates again.

He has to detransform to shower, and Plagg isn't going to be happy with him.

He can't put it off for long- Marinette is waiting upstairs. He takes a deep breath and drops his transformation.

Plagg drops to the counter immediately, drooping. Adrien drops his backpack on the rug to scoop up his kwami, who's very obviously exhausted.

"Kid," Plagg says tiredly. "This is not transforming less."

"I know, Plagg," Adrien says, looking around until he finds a fluffy-looking hand towel to set Plagg down on. Kneeling to rummage through his backpack for Plagg's Camembert, he says, "I'm sorry. I'll spend time with you tomorrow, but please, I'd like to stay here again tonight.  I'll spend time with you tomorrow, I promise." He hands over the cheese.

With a sigh, Plagg starts in on it. "Yeah... sure, kid. Besides, you need to transform to get back out of here, anyway." He eyes Adrien over the cheese wheel. "But remember what I told you, about traits holding over.  Permanently. And I'm holding you to that promise."

"That's fine," Adrien says quickly, stripping off his hoodie and folding it neatly, setting it aside. Maybe he should have let Marinette wash it, but he hadn't wanted to let it out of his hands, even into the keeping of someone he trusts. "I didn't mean to sleep so much today or I would have detransformed during the day." He doesn't say anything about Plagg's warnings. He doesn't have anything to say.

Plagg stops eating for a minute, then slowly starts again. Around crumbs he says, "You're sleeping a lot."

Adrien frowns as he starts the shower. "Yeah."

"You need to eat more," Plagg says.

"For the last time, Plagg, I don't like your stinky cheese."

"That's not what I-" Adrien can't hear the rest of what Plagg says over the sound of the shower.

By the time Adrien's getting dressed again, Plagg's fallen asleep. Adrien hates to wake him up but he isn't about to transform without giving Plagg _some_ warning, so he tugs at the hand towel until Plagg startles back awake.

"Sorry," Adrien apologizes again. "I kinda have to be Chat Noir again, though, Plagg."

Plagg heaves a great sigh. "Sure, kid, I get it. Just don't forget your promise, okay?"

"I won't," Adrien promises. "Plagg, claws out."

Adrien feels better, less off-balance, as soon as he's clad in Chat Noir's familiar outfit again. He puts his hoodie back on before quietly opening the door and padding on silent feet back to the trapdoor.

"Marinette?" he says quietly, pushing it open and wincing inwardly as soon as he says it. Adrien calls her Marinette- Chat Noir calls her Princess.

Well, if he's staying here with any frequency, which he still doesn't want to commit to, he should probably get more used to using her name, anyway.

"Come on in, Chat Noir," Marinette calls back, just as quietly. "Shut the door behind you- it's got a latch, but you don't really have to worry about that if you don't want to."

He's seen her latch it, so he does, too. "Thanks for that, I needed it."

She makes a tired, inquisitive sound. "The shower? Sure, no problem. All you had to do was ask."

Chat Noir thinks about how well asking for things usually goes for him and winces. "Well, thanks anyway."

"Sure," she says, and gives him the choice of going straight to sleep or using her computer.

He ends up taking the chaise lounge again, but Marinette's offer to use her computer is tempting. It would be risky. If he signs into any of his accounts, she might be able to check it and figure out that he'd signed in as Adrien Agreste, and that would be disastrous. It isn't like his classmates know he ran away. She'd probably think that getting Adrien home again was a good thing. 

By now Adrien thinks if he wants to _have_ a home again he'll probably have to go to Ladybug for help, but. He still doesn't want to tell her. Ladybug is braver than he is; she wouldn't have let anything like what's happened to him happen to her. She'd have been better at standing up to his father than he is. She'd have had a better plan- Ladybug always has a better plan than he does. That's part of why he's so willing to follow her lead.

That and he loves her, but he's at a loss for how to make that any clearer to her. He wouldn't do that right now, anyway; not when he'd be taking advantage of her clear concern for him.

The knowledge that she _is_ concerned for him feels like a treasured item that he can hold onto, like one of Ladybug's Lucky Charms. (Or his own lucky charm, the lowercase one, the one hidden in a pocket of his catsuit- but that one's his reminder that Marinette is worried for _Adrien_ too, that there are people who worry for Adrien still).

Chat Noir sighs and turns over on the chaise lounge. Usually Plagg distracts him or talks him out of these kinds of trains of thought, but he can't talk to Plagg right now, so he'll have to live with it.

"You all right down there, Chat Noir?"

He turns back the other way. "I'm fine. Sorry, am I keeping you up?" He should go. He should go, he could always sleep outside somewhere, this isn't fair to Marinette. She's already done so much more than he deserves.

She laughs, lightly. "No, that would be my own brain keeping me up. I can't stop thinking long enough to actually fall asleep. It happens some nights." Her head appears over the edge of the bed. "I don't suppose you do want to watch anime again? Or if you don't want the light, I could put on a podcast. I fall asleep with them on sometimes, just for the distraction."

He raises an eyebrow, despite knowing she can't see it. "For the distraction, or for another excuse in case your parents hear you awake when you shouldn't be?"

"Well, both," she admits, laughing again. "But it really does help. What do you think?"

He twists again, this time turning around in the blankets and shoving them into place. "Well, the light from a screen won't bother me, I have night vision." He's actually reasonably sure night vision isn't supposed to work the way his does. He doesn't know for sure, because it's one of the things Plagg mutters to himself about instead of explaining.

"Do you?" Marinette says, almost absently, and he pauses.

"Uh. Yeah," he clears his throat. "But I don't want the light to keep you awake, so a podcast sounds fine."

"Sure," she says, and fetches her phone out from under her pillow. "I've got a few of them- okay, medical history, mythical creatures, stories about murders, or Dungeons and Dragons?"

He blinks up at the bed. "You have a wide variety of tastes."

"Pick one, cat, I didn't ask for commentary," she retorts, and he reels back a little, amused.

"Okay, okay," Chat Noir says, and then pauses again, tail lashing.

"Chat Noir?" Marinette says uncertainly a minute later.

"I'm trying!" he says. "I have no idea which one, okay? They all sound pretty equally interesting."

"All of them?" she says skeptically.

" _You_ like all of them," he counters, a little hurt.

"I... okay, that's fair," she says grudgingly. "Okay, then I'm just going to load up one of each and hit shuffle, sound good?"

"Yes," he says, relieved she isn't going to push for him to choose one.

He quickly discovers he has regrets when the murder podcast is what comes up first. Turns out the podcast hosts are eager to discuss murders that have gone unsolved because no one had known the victims were missing initially.

It's stupid- even now, he's lucky.  Even before he'd given in and gone to Marinette he'd been safe, safer than most people could hope to be. He has such a huge advantage over others in being Chat Noir, and he'd had another advantage in that he'd planned ahead, even if that planning had been a direct result of being Chat Noir. He has defensible places to sleep even if he can't stay here and food stashed away even if he hasn't been eating very much; he has it so much better than so many other people. He's sleeping somewhere warm and safe right now, after all. (Or not sleeping, as the case may be).

Tomorrow, though, he'll have to keep his promise to Plagg. Which means he'll have to spend the day hiding on his rooftop, with nothing to keep himself occupied. (Well, he has a coloring book. He is still not sure how he feels about that). He's not at all sure spending however much of the night listening to two strange women enthusiastically discuss murders before spending the next day alone is wise.

But Marinette likes this podcast, or it wouldn't have been one of the options.

Chat Noir has the blankets where he wants them, but he starts pushing them around again anyway, just to give himself something to do.

After a few minutes of that he hears Marinette pause the podcast and he freezes in place.

"Chat Noir?" Marinette says sleepily. "I can change it to one of the others."

"It's fine," he manages, wide-eyed. He didn't think she'd hear him. "I don't mind."

"Chat Noir." He hears rustling from up by her bed. "I've heard all of these before, I can change it."

"I don't mind," he insists again, heart in his throat. He knows Marinette is being honest, that she won't mind if he asks to hear something different, but knowing and believing seem to be two very different things. She's been kind enough to let him stay here. He won't risk that, not when it's simple enough to just not argue with her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter fought me; first of all i had a friend like chloe and it was terrible, and second my family situation has always been radically different from adrien's so that was difficult to write 
> 
> the podcasts aren't named because they're mostly marked explicit and that seems strange for marinette, but they're some of my favourites- sawbones, my favourite murder, adventure zone, and spirits


End file.
